A word of advice:

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by blind gaze, Feb 15, 2006.

  1. blind gaze

    blind gaze New Member

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    Women are NEVER as fun or as simple or as easy as they appear in the beginning of a relationship.

    It may take a week, it may take a month, it may take a year, but eventually they'll show you a side of themselves that will make you wonder if they're the same person you thought they were.

    It will make things a whole lot easier if you brace yourself for that moment, because when it comes, you need to be ready for it.

    Women are fucking complicated.
     
  2. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Do you have an experience that's a particularly good example of this? Please share.
     
  3. blind gaze

    blind gaze New Member

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    I asked my gf a couple weeks ago what she wanted to do for V Day. She said, "Nothing." I suggested that we at least go out to dinner and she said that sounded fine. I told her I wanted to get her some flowers, too, and she told me she doesn't care too much for flowers and not to get them for her.

    So I made dinner plans and bought her flowers. My flowers weren't good enough and my dinner plans weren't good enough. And, in spite of my coming down with the flu that very day (which I caught from her), she acted like a total bitch when my plans for the day didn't meet up to her expectations.

    Up until then she was such a cool person, never irrational or anything.
     
  4. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Women are not that complicated. Valentines day is your way of showing her how much you love her. Dinner and flowers are the usual, but did you get her a heart-felt card with something special inside, plus something you wrote as well? I would not have asked her permission for dinner and flowers - it is competely predictable when you deliver them. This is all about surprising her and doing something thoughtful. The problem, most likely, is that she expected an engagement ring. She simply expected a SURPRISE.

    How long have you been together? Close to or more than two years?
     
  5. blind gaze

    blind gaze New Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  6. meshuggahn

    meshuggahn New Member

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    QFT...men are not complicated. We need food, sex, and sleep. not necessarily in that order, but thats it.
     
  7. blind gaze

    blind gaze New Member

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    It was our first Valentine's Day together. I wasn't asking for her permission, I was trying to feel her out, to see whether she's the type of girl who didn't care about V Day, or whether she wanted something nice. She indicated to me that she didn't care, which is the sort of girl I had her pegged as from the start. But it turned out that wasn't the case.

    We've been together 3 months but we've known each other for 10 years. I bought her a rose and wrote her a letter for yesterday.
     
  8. Carebearblues

    Carebearblues New Member

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    And you are saying this just because she didn't tell you what she wanted for V-day? Weird
     
  9. blind gaze

    blind gaze New Member

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    I'm saying this because she acted like a total bitch the entire night, and refused to tell me why until hours later. Which is something I had put up with before but not to this magnitude. And I would especially want her to be in better spirits on that particular day--all I wanted was to spend a nice evening with her.
     
  10. johnny

    johnny shit, baby

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    :hsughno:

    two people together will drive each other mad
     
  11. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    alot of interesting opinions in this thread...i dont agree with most, but for once I will keep my mouth shut and see what people have to say.

    I can say however, that after being with my wife for a few years now, that she acts (although a bit more mature) the same way she always has. Do you know why that is? Because even before we started dating we agree'd not to put on a front for each other. We have been completely open about everything since before day 1.

    People don't really change, they just change what they let other people see of themselves. Maybe instead of saying everyone is so complicated, you should start your relationships being completely open and honest, instead of putting on some sort of a front to get someone to like you (which is how it goes almost all the time).

    Damn it, i didnt keep my mouth shut :(
     
  12. blind gaze

    blind gaze New Member

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    I agree with you. It's like that between my gf and I most of the time, but sometimes she shuts herself off. I appreciate your advice and I'll talk to her about this today :)
     
  13. Felix

    Felix Its good to be me.

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    Like the saying goes. Doesn't matter how hot a girl is, there is a guy out there who is tired of her shit
     
  14. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    Lemme ask you somethin...

    How often do you spend just "a nice evening together"? What made the day better than every other day? How long was the letter and what did it say? How much effort was put into it? That's what she's looking for. Effort.

    Secondly NEVER ask someone what they want for Valentines day. EVER. That's like saying it's too much effort and I don't care enough to put any into it so what do you want? By asking you are removing the whole point of the day. She probably didn't take the question seriously because that's just not something you ask someone. It's not a birthday or Christmas. The day is about feelings. It's about showing someone what they mean to you. Not asking them what they think they should mean to you. That is something that should come from your heart.

    You haven't been together a long time. Well... long enough you should know how you feel about her. The sparks should be there. You should be excited to do sweet things for eachother, tell eachother how you feel or be excited do things out of the ordinary together and make eachother happy. Go out of your way a little more once and awhile rather than doing just what's easy. That doesn't mean you have to spend big money. Just means you need to put a little more effort and creativity into it. Take initiative.

    In my opinion if you can make random regular days a big deal once and awhile it means more to me than if it were some commercialized holiday. Honestly if thats happening then the holidays aren't really a big deal at all to me... but if it's not I look forward to them. What is life if you have nothing to look forward to or feel special about?

    If we make some of the OTHER days special that shows me I've got something special.
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2006
  15. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    On the flip side of it. What did she do/get you?
     
  16. blind gaze

    blind gaze New Member

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    We eat out together all the time. I put a lot of thought and effort into the letter, and I'd guess it was about one full page long? I did not put much effort into the day itself because first, I had been showing much more interest in it lately than she had, and second, she was just getting over the flu and I had just caught it that day.

    I tried showing her what she meant to me in the letter. She said (after all our arguing) that she would open it when she got home. I never heard her mention it since then.

    We take each other out to eat all the time, I and I've taken her out on 3 trips so far. Not to try to impress her but because I want us to do fun things together.

    She made me a jar full of origami. And as trite and superficial as this may sound, she spent about one tenth the amount of time on it as she spent on the one for her ex. Go figure :dunno:
     
  17. psycospyder

    psycospyder New Member

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    this point can not be stressed enough, women=headache and heartache but in the end isn't it worth it?
     
  18. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Interesting. I still think that no matter what a woman says, she expects to be surprised. You have not been together long, either, but you've known each other for ten years? I've never had a good feeling about relationships like that... but who knows? :dunno:

    Anyway, it seems like she wanted more. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Personally, I think if you are arguing and she was ungrateful for the Valentines day present you've got to realize things are not going well.

    Being sick could have something to do with it as well, obviously, but still....

    By the way, may I point out that if you are arguing frequently then something is inheirently wrong with your relationship. I get the feeling that she is a control freak, and that is never a good thing in my experience. She wanted more, acted like a bitch, and now if you kiss up to her next time she will have learned that her bad behavior gets good results. Me, I would have told her she was being ungrateful and to never do it again. I then would have considered going out with some friends and let her alone so she is not rewarded for acting like a spoiled brat. Or, depending on her mood, I may have sat down and had an in-depth and serious conversation about her attitude and how it needs to stop. Something like that. One way or the other, I think what she did was cruel and cold.
     
  19. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    Okay, women are not the only ones who will eventually "show you a side of themselves that will make you wonder if they're the same person you thought they were.", then.
    It happens in both genders.
     
  20. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    This is why Valentine's day is so awful. Each party expects the other one to care about it a great deal, but neither one is supposed to communicate. I asked my gf if she would like something, and explained that I could care less about the fucking holiday. (I didn't curse.) Eventually she confessed to wanting a card, so we agreed verbally to send each other cards. That was a load off my shoulders, I can tell you. I was much happier about having come to an agreement than about the card.
     
  21. blind gaze

    blind gaze New Member

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    This is exactly what I did. She felt bad and agreed to be more communicative. ALTHOUGH, I chose not to have this conversation with her in its entirety on Valentine's Day. I did tell her that it wasn't fair for her to be mad at me, and she did apologize. I went into more depth the day after, because I just felt that V Day isn't the best time to have those sorts of talks. I was just trying to focus less on being corrective, and more on trying to salvage what I could that night so that it wouldn't be nothing but a sore memory.

    We get along great, we are both very attracted to one another, we have great chemistry, and our personalities just click. This was just a bump in the road. We don't argue often. And about us having known each other for 10 years: we first met in junior high. We were friends through high school, but we were both too immature to be dating at that time. We went our separate ways in college, and when we re-met in November, we got along far better than we ever had before. It was like we were two different people.
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2006
  22. blind gaze

    blind gaze New Member

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    This reminds me, another thing: that letter that I put so much thought into, she did not utter a single word to me about until I straight up asked her on the night of the 15th.

    She said she read it, and then she went silent. I got pissed, and asked her why she wouldn't say anything about it, and she told me it's because the letter I wrote made her feel happy, but guilty at the same time, for the way she had acted on the 14th.

    I told her that wasn't any excuse, and the least she could have done was to say thank you to me for writing it. I really hope that she doesn't pull something like this again.
     
  23. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    Good. I think you were in the right.

    It's one thing to get someone a card that says it all and sign your name... but it's another to get something from the heart. Thats all I was wondering. :dunno:

    She deserved to be gone off on. Especially if she wasn't even apologetic about it. Sometimes as hard as it can be you have to suck it up and admit your faults. She deserved it.
     
  24. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    Communication is fine along the lines... "do you want to go out to eat?" yadda yadda... but "what do you want for valentines day?" That question is utterly retarded. Sorry... it just is.
     
  25. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    She could always say "surprise me, baby."
    Unless she's retarded.
    But I don't go for retards after the last one tried to eat my penis.
     

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