FRK A story from me...1st ever....

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by CBurgerjr, Jun 23, 2005.

  1. CBurgerjr

    CBurgerjr League leading 49 HR in 1986.

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    Me and Sara started on our way to the beach. Her boyfriend had gone on a cruise to to the Bahamas with his friends. So she asked me to go with her for a week at the beach. I was a friend of her boyfriends and he didn’t mind me going with her. In his mind ,he didn’t have anything to worry about. We got there, and checked into our room. We got settled in, fixed us a drink and went down to the beach. That’s where it started.

    She asked me to tell her one thing that nobody else would know and she would tell me a secret too. I told her that I was still a virgin and I was. She seemed to be shocked. She then thought a second and says that she has cheated on her boyfriend before. We got to talking and drinking more, and I say lets do something crazy, like her taking my virginity. Sara was a very cute and athletic girl, so there was a definite attraction between us. We were in the room later that day, and we started talking about it again. She was saying it would change things between us, and was saying noway.I just wanted to know what it felt like to fuck. She said we can’t just yet because she wated to shave her pussy, I guess she was embarrassed. I go next door to the store to get some condoms and she takes a shower. I got back to the room before she was finished, and I looked down to see what I thought was a goldmine. She had taken off her panties beside the door and left them in the floor. A part of me thought she done it on purpose. I picked them up and smelled and the best aroma I had ever smelled. I got an instant hard-on. I heard that she was finished, so I laid them back down on the floor and went to sit down. Later ,things were just to awkward , so we decided to wait.

    The next day……
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2005
  2. 5secstrtcar

    5secstrtcar Spot you 10, give you the move and still hand you

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    Um the rest is...
     
  3. CBurgerjr

    CBurgerjr League leading 49 HR in 1986.

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    I'm working on it....
     
  4. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    It has potential... :)
     
  5. CBurgerjr

    CBurgerjr League leading 49 HR in 1986.

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    The next day……We went to the beach and stayed all day. We also had a gallon jug of Hunch Punch on ice, so we both were feeling right. We got back to the room and she started to get cleaned up , because we were going to go see 2-Live Crew that night at a club. I just sat there and watched her getting dressed, then she finally come over to the table to talk. She asked me if I wanted to play Truth or Dare. I agreed. Started off with the average questions ,like “Has Joey ever cheated on me “ ? I , knowing that he had , told her her that I didn’t know, because I wanted her to stay in a good mood. It went on for awhile, before one of us had the nerve to say “Dare”. I did , and she said “I dare you to jerk-off for me”. I had on really loose athletic style shorts on wasn’t wearing underwear, so I just pulled them to the side, exposing my throbbing hard dick. I was stroking it very slow, and I could tell she was getting very horny. She was sitting in a chair at the table I was at, facing me. She had on a black sun-dress and had her legs resting on top of the table. I could barely see the narrow white thong that was running from the top of her dress down between her tanned ass. I didn’t finish myself, but I had asked her if it was my turn. She didn’t even say dare, she said what can I do ? I say “Can I see it” ? Sara opens her legs, and I see the same thong that I had smelled earlier. She was wearing the same one. They had little angels all over them. She continues with her legs opening, and reaches down and pulls her panties to the side. My god ! I saw heaven. It was the most perfect pussy I had ever seen, most of them in magazines. I immediately jumped out of the chair to my knees and was face to face with my first. Oh the smell !! it was great. I started slowly licking the outer edges of her lips. By the time I had made it to her clit, she was soaking wet. I could have died right there and not cared. After eating her out in the chair awhile, I picked her up a carried her to the bed, and continued. I couldn’t stop licking her pussy. A few minutes later, she asked if I would fuck her. I jumped up to get a condom, and looked down and I had lost my hard and couldn’t get it back. She said , “I’ll suck it to get it hard again”. So , I stood at the edge of the bed while she got on her knees on the bed and started sucking me. It was feeling so good, that I just laid down on the bed and she kept on sucking me off.
    She slowly slid the condom over the head of my cock and down my shaft. I was stiff lying on my back, and Sara then got up to straddle me. It took her a few seconds to finally get it in her, God , She was so tight feeling. This was the first time my cock had ever been in a pussy. She rode it slowly at first , trying to get used to it. Sara made a comment that I was bigger than Joey was. It was a good thing that we had a few drinks before, or I would have cum very quick. We went from that position, to missionary position. I was in control of the thrusts, and they got longer and faster. Remember, I wasn’t really sure what I was doing. I did know that it felt good, though. Immediately she jumps up , and sticks her ass up in the air, and says “Fuck me hard”. We get going good. What a visual !! I was staring down at her tanned ass and thinking “Could this get any better” ? Sara turns her head around to me and tells me to stick my finger in her ass. I stick my thumb in my mouth to get it nice wet, then work it in to her hole. She let’s out a big moan and says “God yes”…I take one or two more good pumps in her pussy and cum like I have never cum before. We get finished, and after I have taken my dick out, I don’t see the condom. She gets defensive as asks me if I took it off while fucking her. I tell her No ! She says there’s only one place it can be then, Sara tells me to get it out of her. I reach up in her and it had come off while we were bangin’. I pull it out go flush it down the toilet. We get finished getting ready , and take off to go see 2-Live Crew at the club.
     
  6. :f13nd15h:

    :f13nd15h: Gangstah fo' lyfe

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    ugh, this is horrible.
     
  7. CBurgerjr

    CBurgerjr League leading 49 HR in 1986.

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    my bad ...
     
  8. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    :mamoru: Truth or Dare! I used to love that game!

    Not bad for your first time!!! It was neat hearing a story from a virgin's point of view.
    Sniffing the panties? What a pervert!!! :naughty:
     
  9. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    That's not very nice :nono:
    Just keep workin at it, CJ!!! You are doin great!!! :hug:
     
  10. CBurgerjr

    CBurgerjr League leading 49 HR in 1986.

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    Naughty !!! I'm not a pervert, I mean "He" just loves the erotic smell of a woman.
     
  11. Antigeek

    Antigeek Who Dat!

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    I'll write something later. This struggles. :big grin:
     
  12. CBurgerjr

    CBurgerjr League leading 49 HR in 1986.

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    It definetly could be better...

    The first time I jumped in a creek , I about drowned. Now , I swim like a frog.
     
  13. Laurel

    Laurel New Member

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    more details. :)
     
  14. CBurgerjr

    CBurgerjr League leading 49 HR in 1986.

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    Laurel...you sure...Everybody hates it !!!
     
  15. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    Don't get discouraged! There is just some critique going on. Well, kinda, maybe instead of saying the story sucks some may want to offer suggestions. Where is sexypony??
     
  16. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    I think it definitely has some potential. Your verbage makes you seem young... how old are you? Most of us fogies in here use more descript language. Try making your sentences longer and make them flow into each other. Not so choppy. Make the thoughts flow... you'll get it, just hang in there.

    And don't let any of the asshats tell you it sucks... most of them probably can't even write their own names without screwing it up.
     
  17. CBurgerjr

    CBurgerjr League leading 49 HR in 1986.

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    low 30's...Your right It does seem to be all chopped up...I'll get better, maybe.
     
  18. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    sure you will... I didn't mean any offense about your usuage of speach, by the way. Just an observation. Keep on it, it'll get better.
     
  19. Antigeek

    Antigeek Who Dat!

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    Here's some constructive criticism:

    Write it in Word or whatever, read it, re-write it, re-read it, re-write it again.

    Then be more descriptive when fleshing out the details. For written eroticism to work, it has to be VERY descriptive. Let us know how excited he is.. how his pulse quickens, his breathing gets shallow, his palms get clammy, etc.
     
  20. Laurel

    Laurel New Member

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    What i meant was... The story definitely has potential to be steamy, but without many details, it left me wanting more, and not in a good way. By using more details, you'll be able to capture your audience more. Give sexypony's stories a quick look and maybe try to "immitate" what he's doing
     
  21. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Okay, so I finally had time to read it (slammed at work) I would slow down with the sex. You go into detail about where you are/ how much you had to drink/ where you are going/ etc but then when it comes to the sex you just breeze by it. So tell us what you are doing with every move, not we switched to this position and that. Tell us how it feels/ smells/ tastes. Also I would use heavier adjectives like instead of "it smelled good" it smelled enticing/ delicious/ etc. Use a thesaurus online if you have to.
     
  22. CBurgerjr

    CBurgerjr League leading 49 HR in 1986.

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    Thanks...I'm learning alot.
     
  23. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    sexypony isn't the only one around here that writes good, descriptive stories :squint: :squint:


    but i still love his stuff :kiss:
     
  24. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    (I didn't wanna say it)
     

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