SRS A sad love life............

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by shiva182, Nov 6, 2006.

  1. shiva182

    shiva182 New Member

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    What do I do? I am in love with a girl for the past one and a half years but I found out that my best friend has a crush on her for much longer than I have so I didn’t tell him anything about my feeling for her I let him have his fun. My best friend found out that I like his girl friend but we are still on good terms, but on Valentines Day I told her how I felt with my best friend’s permission. I have done something that I am not too proud off during that year like I asked her out behind her back and he found out but he still wanted to be my friend. After I came back from the India I found out that they broke up and my best friend encouraged me to ask her out (I asked her out on his birthday, I couldn’t do anything he told me to do it that day). She gave me her answer a week later….. (It was a no, she friend zoned me). Two weeks later, out of the bloom she asked me out and I said yes, but she dumped me in two days and the next day my best friend asked her out on a party when I was around (I wasn’t angry I was more sad). From those days I tried to avoid her but I couldn’t because both of them tricked me into hanging out with them (they both mean well but sometimes they have a hard time showing that but they are nice people). Now I want to spend time with her I have found out its better than nothing (I have become strong with my emotions through this ordeal). I have found out that she is leaving in a few months forever, I feel so confused….. I want to tell her one more time how I feel but I can’t because my best friend won’t like it and I don’t know if she has some feeling or any feeling left for me. I feel lost and hurt but I still want to be her friend, is there any solution for my messed up life…………….
     
  2. Welsh0913

    Welsh0913 OT Supporter

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    I don't think there is any point to tell her one more time because she already knows how you feel. Nothing good can come of it, especially if she is moving away in a few months.


    You can still be friends with her, but its really up to you. Just being friends could be painful if you still have feelings for her. Your friend is a good guy... I know a lot of people who wouldn't have put up with what you did. He gave you a chance to be with her and she still went back to him. If I were you, I'd move on to another girl. Nothing good can come of this. There are so many of them in the world.
     
  3. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    I agree with Welsh. She already knows how you feel. There's no point in telling her again.

    Being her friend while feeling the way you do will definitely be painful. Can you deal with that? Being around her and not being "with" her?
     
  4. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    This is the Asylum, not offtopic.
     
  5. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    Their point still stands though. I mean, that sucks that you and your friend both had a thing for her. But you need to move on.

    If you do choose to tell her, you can't expect anything to come of it. First of all, she's moving. Secondly, you've already told her before and met a grim result, it doesn't look like things have changed since.

    Trust me, if you feel this strongly about her you probably don't want to stay friends with her. You may say hanging out with her is better than nothing, but you're just digging yourself a hole.

    Go out with your friends, meet new people, men and women alike. Her leaving is a new era in your life, take some control and make up for the time you lost longing for this girl. Have some fun, mang. :bigthumb:
     
  6. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    I know, that's why I didn't flame them :bigthumb:

    I should let OT know that I am the 'friend' that the OP is talking about :hsugh:

    Dunno if I should take part in this thread or not?:hsd:

    Edit: bolded so people notice :o
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2006
  7. shiva182

    shiva182 New Member

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  8. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    What are you talking about? shiva, this is wrong. The whole reason she couldn't keep an attraction for you was because having such a low self value in comparision to her is unattractive. You've placed her on a pedastle and that's going to kill any attraction because it also kills respect.

    You basically said (in the quoted text) that you'll settle just being in her presence. That shows just how little you value yourself and your time. You have to show that you deserve more than that in order for someone to respect you. You should never "settle".

    You're not going to be able to win her over now. She's made up her mind and it would be best for you to move on. You deserve better than to sit there in friendzone.
     
  9. Welsh0913

    Welsh0913 OT Supporter

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    What you need is closure on the entire situation and move on.


    How you achieve this closure is the difficult part and only you know how to do it. Just remember, she is going away in a few months and will probably be out of your life forever... let it go and say good bye.
     
  10. shiva182

    shiva182 New Member

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    All of you guy are right i should move on but since i have suffered so much might as well go the whole stech (it's only a matter of months before she leaves). As for nish i want to be his friend (he is the gratest guy I know) because he always has helped me out in different ways, he had all the right to be pissed at me but never did. He has also gave me advice on how to deal with this. Viper your probally right.... I might not take your advice..... or maybe I might.... I am confused right now..... so might take a while (you guys are probally thinking what a lost case but I am trying my best, but it's harder than it look)...........
     
  11. Welsh0913

    Welsh0913 OT Supporter

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    I understand its hard on you but from the attitude of your posts, you ALREADY KNOW THAT ITS DOOMED FOR FAILURE.


    It seems like you're still holding out for the last glimmer of hope. The question I have for you now is why? You have a friend who has been there for you that you may be jepordizing your relationship with for a girl who is going to move away and already knows of your feelings for her. If she has the same feelings, don't you think she would have already reciprocated them? You're just digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole. Make the best out of a bad situation and chalk this one up as a learning experience in life. There are other girls out there.
     
  12. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Ya it's harder than it looks, and you're the first person to ever go through this.... :ugh:

    Look, ignore all the good advice that's been given. Go your own way on this, everyone following this already knows you haven't the willpower to stop yourself.

    Same reason you couldn't stop yourself in the first place, believing the friendzone was a good place to hang out.

    But bottom line, you'll not see otherwise until you check it out for yourself. Some people just need to do things first-hand.
     
  13. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    truth.

    It's so sad to observe the OP though, I was like that 6 years ago and I regret the time I wasted "holding out".
     
  14. Shiva Chaos

    Shiva Chaos i see boobies!

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    :rofl:
     
  15. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    Better than people not realising and something embarrassing happening :dunno:
     
  16. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Silver lining in all of this is that it sounds like there are 2 genuine friends here.
     

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