SRS A rant about my mom and sister.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Apr 10, 2006.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    I recently confirmed that I am going to be making a lot of money in the future. Not like ridiculous amounts or anything, just in the sense that I will be able to not worry much about living how I want and being able to support the people I love. SO I was understandably very happy about this and called my mom to discuss my plans for the future.

    Well, my sister decides that my enthusiasm about being able to vacation and see movies and treat my girl to dinner indicates that I no longer value intellect. This may not sound like a big deal to you, but my family is largely composed of intellectuals. My father founded and ran an unconventional school. My mom is a writer who teaches English. My mom's husband (I don't consider him my step-father) is a poet and teacher. My older sister is a musician who is teaching and getting a master's in ethnomusicology.

    Since most people come from a culture where the main goal is prosperity, where "success" is simply the sum of your love life, family, and economic status, it is often hard to explain things like why my sister and mom were so upset at me. They are upset because they believe I have forgotten what is meaningful. They think I am simply going to work and play, abandoning reading, creative writing, learning about music, art, philosophy, etc. It's incredibly annoying that I get excited about being able to freely do what I want and then my family jumps down my throat with ridiculous admonitions and accusations.
     
  2. Indrew

    Indrew New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2006
    Messages:
    405
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    It sucks being the 'black sheep'. Be proud of your accomplishments. I'd rather be like you then like them. Live freely or die trying. You don't need a book in your face to bring meaning to your life.
     
  3. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2005
    Messages:
    970
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Arizona
    Wow, that's crazy. You SHOULD be happy about your accomplishments. You earned that right.
    I am thinking that there may be a bit of underlying jealousy that is coming through with their nasty remarks.

    I'd say just let it roll off your back.
     
  4. darnit

    darnit New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2005
    Messages:
    397
    Likes Received:
    0
    QFT
     
  5. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Sounds like jealousy. If you really haven't changed, then obviously the issue is somewhere else with them.
     
  6. MudFlap

    MudFlap Guest

    You are doing well bud... just be yourself.
     
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Yes such critisism is not uncommon, but family is different its like they are using knifes instead of words, thats how much it hurts if such critisism is expressed. But in the end in a hostile enviroment you have to love,support and believe in yourself, people tend to stamp you into the ground, all that what you achieved is being dragged thru negativity. My advice, learn that negativity will lead you to nowhere, this is exactly the reason also why you shouldn't listen to that shit.
     
  8. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,650
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Charleston, SC
    It sucks that they arent happy for you, but as long as YOU are the one happy with and proud of your accomplishments, then that is all that matters in the end.

    My mom is jealous of the money my bf & I make, because we bring home, and have saved, more than her & my dad have right now (he's retired though, so there's not really an income for him except SS checks he gets for my brother).
     
  9. michaele36

    michaele36 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2006
    Messages:
    415
    Likes Received:
    0
    screw them. your making money and you do well, dont care what they think
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    Honestly I'm not sure where I stand on this.

    However, about the jealousy: my sister thinks it's totally possible to follow the career plan I have and maintain my understanding of what is truly meaningful in life. She just got the vibe that I had dropped that understanding. I repeat, she does not think that the wealth and the intellectual zeal are mutually exclusive. So it's not jealousy ... whatever it is. :rolleyes:
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    I agree. My mom's response should not have been what it was. !!!!! Wtf. However, let me make it clear that my mother actually made no nasty comments or attacks or anything, she just was like, "Money, money, money," or something like that. I think she definitely let her insecurity direct her actions.
    Like I said, I really wouldn't say I've been attacked here. My sister is genuinely concerned (and absolutely insane and retarded). My mother mostly just got insecure about it. I'm only assuming my mom shared my sister's view to some extent. It might only just be my sister.

    The comment from someone else about learning about life without a book in your face is not necessarily a stance I think I should adopt. It does sound a bit shallow. But like I said, I'm not sure where I stand on all this.
     
  12. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2005
    Messages:
    970
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Arizona
    I think it's absolutely possible to maintain your "culture" and love of arts, reading music, etc, and anything else they seem to be concerned about, AND make good money.

    In any case, I am sorry you are having to feel anything other than excstatic about your achievments.
     
  13. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    Well, it is not guaranteed, just pretty likely. But thank you. :)
     
  14. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Why would she get that vibe? It just doesn't make sense from what you have told me thus far. Either something is missing from your story or they aren't telling you what is REALLY bothering them.
     
  15. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    Maybe, or maybe it's just something that has been bothering her for a long time. Or maybe it's because she recently was having concerns about the meaning of life and was projecting onto me. I don't know.
     
  16. gsxec

    gsxec New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Messages:
    406
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TX
    With the trouble aside. They are still your mother and your sister. So love them and do your best to allow them to understand your view on the situation.
     
  17. Fallout Girl

    Fallout Girl New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2006
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would say that through you being able to travel and see films and eat out will be your firsthand experience of the world.
    I love books and I love learning, but in a heartbeat I would drop them to do something in my own life that was worthy of being in a book. Go experience.
     

Share This Page