FRK A Question for Rouge (and others)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Bubba Atlantis, Jan 10, 2007.

  1. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    Lovley and I had a great time with a few girls on New Years Eve (a couple actually). ANyway, we are looking at creating a sort of relationship between the four of us. We plan to discuss things further on Saturday, as to what the rules are to be and what our expectations and so forth are in the situation. However, for the four of us, this is rather new, so I was hoping to get some help from people that swing or people that have relationships with other couples. In particular, what were some things that you came across in the first few times that you did not expect that may have created some tension between the couples and how did you overcome this. I do understand that in all of this, there are A MILLION different variables (such as 3 women and 1 guy, our personalities, our preferences and so forth), so I do know that it will be different for us, however I am just hoping I can get some advice as to some things to expect or might encounter that don't seem to first come to mind when talking about stuff like this.

    Hmm, hopefully I have explained this well enough. If not, I can try again later today :mamoru:
     
  2. Mighty_Zeus

    Mighty_Zeus Guest

    A relationship with 3 women. Wow Bubba..

    I cannot give you any advice on this, I only wanted to commend your effort , incase you are never seen again ;)
     
  3. HouseLing

    HouseLing When masturbations lost its fun you'r fucking lazy

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    im not sure wether he is my hero or someone to feel sorry for :o
     
  4. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    all I can say is make it FRIENDS THAT FUCK.... make sure everyone is on the same page emotionally. if not you'll have not just one woman pissed at you and each other... but 3.

    if you guys then further build into a true poly-amory relationship then that's a whole other kettle of fish. that I can't even begint o talk about because that's not my thing.


    So everyone needs to sit and talk this all out so that any issues can be adressed in the open BEFORE they get bad.
     
  5. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

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    .

    It'll be great for the sex but the rest just sounds damn scary. :run:
     
  6. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

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    I have no experience what so over with anything near this but I would think communication would be key. Communication is key in a regular relationship, so with something like this it has to be top priority. Jealously could be a motherfucker.
     
  7. pigeon

    pigeon wasabi

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    no advice but damn i commend lovely for her confidence. i'm not sure i'd be able to handle that many women in the same bed.:o
     
  8. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    Well see that is the thing....I guess I should give a little background on this.

    We will call people A, B Lovely and Bubba (me)

    So, myself and person A have been friends for about a year and get along really well....we just click. We also have a very weird relationship. We continually have to let people know that NO we are NOT dating, we are just friends. So anyway, she was with a guy and things were not good. They broke up. She ended up with another girl (December 18th they started dating). On New Years, we got together and you can see what came of that in the thread I created regarding new years. Since than, things have been a little awkward and weird. This is primarily because of a lack of communication. It seems I will talk to A or B or Lovely, while B will talk with Lovely, while A and B will talk to each other and so forth. Through all this, things have gotten mixed up and has been somewhat frustrating. So, we all agree taht we need to sit down and fully decide on what it is we want. We see this as even more vital as person B has NEVER been with a guy (I was the first to see her naked). Furthermore, she has little interest in men. However, person A and Lovely, enjoy ME :big grin:.....and B might come around (she stated to me earlier today). So, at this time we are not looking for a 'regular' relationship, but just rather fuckbuddies (??) for a bit. However, it isn't what we want our whole relationship to be built on.

    What makes this more confusing is we have class together and LOL, myself and person A teach a class (together) and my wife, Lovely is one of the students :mamoru: (confused yet???)

    Anyway, person A, Lovely and I have always chatted about doing some of this stuff but have never gotten around to it, primarily because person A and myself (though less with me) think that it would be weird, considering how close we are.

    Now, as Pigeon stated, there is a jealousy thing, which has always been a concern. This is a concern because I would consider Lovley to be a jealous person (though this has decreased over the years). So, I do worry myself about her and her feelings. Now this is not the first time Lovley and I have done this (sort of)...she does have a close friend who we have done things with. The three of us always had rules and they were strictly followed and I think we will take a similar approach here, however, adding another person into this, does make it a bit more difficult (Thanks to Zeus and everyone else for the kind jealousy lol I always love it ;))

    So, I am a bit concerned about things...however, I am hoping things work out as Lovely and I really like these girls (and to be honest, I would be fine doing anything with both of these girls, a nice Russian and a German :mamoru: ) With our past experiences we know it can be fun and we know it can blow up in your face. Further, through past experiences, we know there are always things that you could never anticipate show up (luckily all three are on birth control :mamoru: ), which is why I was hoping I could get some advice from anyone who is in a relationship like this


    WOW...that is a LONG post
     
  9. Mighty_Zeus

    Mighty_Zeus Guest

    Thank you for filling us in ~ that is quite the deal.

    So, where does the desire come from in ernest for this to be a relationship sorta type thing?

    Lovely of course would be jelous, I could hardly see how she would not be, BUT. If you and lovely are close friends with these two, there should be a fair amount of confidence between you two couples. The problem, as it appears to me is, Lovely's feelings, and person B not being into men atm. So, focus on communicating ALL things between all involved. Person B's current disintrest in men should serve to cool Lovely. That leaves A. You are a good man, we know this. Lovely knows this too, but perhaps a bit of doting and more than usual comments, spontaneous sex, flowers etc will help to smooth things...That all, of course, is ernest, just more effort to help offset the feelings that would come naturally to any human.

    That is an incredibley dynamic situation. 2 couples, 3 women. There is a lot of talking to be done my friend. And a lot of extra padding of feelings for security.

    You could fall into a helpless, suffering trance every time you see lovely, but that does not wholey care for any doubts or thoughts that fall into her idle time.

    Think, creatively, of ways to express your favor of Lovely in the presence of the other two women without also putting them out or down. Women are acutely aware of very subtle things like that, on both sides. It will show Lovely that you hold her above them, and it will show them that while they are a part of the greater picture, you honor your wife above anything. They will respect that (if they are pure to the ideals), and think better of you because they both know that you are pure to the ideals.

    I hope that all made sense. Good on ya mate. Have fun.
     
  10. Lovely Atlantis

    Lovely Atlantis Luscious Lovely Lady!

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    I thought I would put my input in here since it IS about me...

    So far most of the stuff we have done with other girls has mainly just involved ME doing stuff with the woman, and Bubba being a spectator. In the instance with my best friend, he did get a little involved (when my arm got tired I passed the dildo to him to finish the job... she was blindfolded and didn't really know). I'm really not too sure if I am comfortable with him doing stuff with other women. That's why since things with my friend we kind of ended stuff because I realized that it really wasn't fair to him. I was getting all the action of both him and the other girl but he wasn't allowed to touch her. (happened to be great for me! mmm lots of hands all over my body....) As bad as I feel about that not being fair, I don't know just how much I can handle him doing at this point. I'm thinking about expanding things this time and allowing him to be more involved... but it's all quite complicated. I worry about the one lesbian woman and if having a man involved would just totally turn her off... Oh and this woman is also a virgin too. The partner that she's with right now (our close friend, and how we got to know her) is her first partner ever. So that intimidates me a bit. I worry that she'll be thinking "eeeew gross" to anything Bubba does. And ofcourse I want everyone to be toally comfortable. Plus I really don't want her to feel pressured or like she's being used by us since we really don't know her that well.

    An idea which I think might be kind of hot, would be both of us couples going at it with each other in the same room. aka A and B fooling around/having sex, and me and Bubba having sex. The voyeurism and exhibitionism might be nice.

    Oh and regarding the confidence comment... why would it be me that needs to be confident? Wouldn't it be more Bubba?
     
  11. Mighty_Zeus

    Mighty_Zeus Guest

    :hs: Not intending to demean you dear :love:

    lol. I would say that Mr needs some gusto to keep up with it all certainly.

    My opinion, is from a man's view, and what I had read. Long lessons have taught me that it is important that Mrs knows where she stands always and in all ways.
     
  12. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    LOL....see I know what you mean by that Lovely but others might not. The reason I might be concerned and less confident is because I tend to get ignored...and the girls all love the girls....so there is not a lot of fear there for Lovely...or atleast there should not be. MInd you, as she has stated, there is a fear there for her. We have discussed stuff and Lovely has stated that Oral sex might be okay (well more than just okay).....so I said, fine how about if I did this to one of them....and I passionately kissed her. She didn't like that. So I was like see, you are not comfortable with things and you are a bit jealous....so yes, communication is key. We need to set some guidelines. As I said, luckily we have a bit of experience with this, however, this situation is a bit different
     
  13. pigeon

    pigeon wasabi

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    i meant that i wouldn't have the confidence to have my s/o play with me and 2 other women. i wouldn't be comfortable with him touching all those other girls........ this is why we don't have playmates ~ i don't want to share.:o that's all i meant.... i hope it didn't sound horrible....:noes:

    edit:

    this is what i meant. i wouldn't be comfortable with my s/o doing stuff with other women, and i think it's impressive when a female *is* okay with that - to me it suggests an incredible level of confidence in yourself and your relationship and a lot of trust.

    does that help explain?
     
  14. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    Good Morning. Sorry my online time is different than y'alls. Offspring have finals, so I'm not allowed to touch the computer at home :mamoru:

    As background, our lovely 4some had our one year anniversary recently :bigthumb: and yes, we have had our trials and tribulations. Also, keep in mind that we are all much older and past the whole reproduction worries. That being said, here is what I can tell you that worked for us.

    Sit down and talk it all out. We had a period where one of the boys was being all selfish and demanding and we had to call him out on it. As with any relationship, you will have your rough spots. I can remember, in the begining thinking that I wasn't going to get used to getting fucked by someone else's husband (although I didn't have a problem with my hubby & the GF together :dunno: ). Took me a bit to accept that we are all deeply in love with our own spouses and the rest is just fun and games. Aside from that, there is a deep friendship between us because of all of our other common interests.

    You have extra women which is going to make it a bit tougher because... well, we are what we are. ;) The GF and I have talked about our momentary jealousy (we both described it as a quick, intense flash) when our hubbies have had the other one in screaming orgasms, but then you realize that your hubby does it for you too. I've gotten to the point now where it makes me so freakin' hot to watch my hubby and the GF have sex.

    On a side note: The 4 of us now have to make an effort to behave appropriately when we are with the rest of our group of friend. People have started to make comments about how friendly we are to each other :naughty: :rofl:

    Hope this helps. Feel free to ask me anything (I'm guessing you do already :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: )

    Cliffs: If anyone is bothered by anything...talk it out immediately
    Communicate, Communicate...... have lots of fun!!!
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2007
  15. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    Thanks Rouge. I presume at first you guys took things slowly and kind of built up to things? I think that is something that we will have to keep in mind. I don't think that the first while will get very heavy (I.E. No sex, just fooling around, kissing, rubbing, etc). And as we get more comfortable with one another and spend more time together, that sort of stuff will increase.
     
  16. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    We spent about the first year of our association just hanging out with the rest of our group - going to events, dinners, grad parties etc. As people tend to do at parties, we always seemed to wander off with them and chit-chat. The actual down-and-dirty was the end result of all this, a few explicit conversations on a road trip and an invite to their cottage for a little R & R (and FF, FMF, MFM, MFMF :mamoru:)
     
  17. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    lol lots of fun....see the problem with all this is the three of us (Lovely, Myself and Person A) have discussed this in the past and done MINOR stuff together. So the problem is, we have been kinda doing what you mentioned for the last 8 months or more. However, the new curve to this story lies in the new addition to it; Person A's new partner, who has been thrown into all of this; to which she has expressed a bit of a concern over. Not so much the doing things, but rather just meeting us and instead of building a friendship up first, we are building a sexual relationship. Now, the other three of us do not see this as big of a deal as person B because the three of us have already built up that friendship. So that does make things different as each person within this group is at different positions and one has to play MAJOR catch up. Hence why I feel we must take it very slow for atleast the next six months.

    Rouge, I presume that you have a relationship with your gf and bf outside of the sexual stuff correct? By that I mean do the four of you (not a big group) go off and do stuff together, such as go to plays, movies, events, etc? Further, do you break off and say your husband and the gf go on 'dates' not so much date dates, but just events where only the two of them go?
     
  18. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    The 4 of us do dinner, music, and movies together as much as possible. Because of where we live, however there is no my hubby/GF or me/BF only events. We have talked about doing this type of thing the next time we take a road trip. Frequently, because of the boys schedules, it is a combination of 3 of us (my hubby, GF & me or GF, BF & me) or just the GF & me. :naughty:

    I can't imagine trying to add a "new person" to the dynamics, but you are probably handling it correctly by taking it slower with her. She might adjust faster than you expect. Good luck, sounds like lots of fun!!!
     
  19. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    well it seems like she will...but I mean the second time Lovely meets this girl, they are naked, rubbing stuff all over one another and licking it off lol. So, she did move fast but at the same time, she has expressed a concern because she does not want everything to be based on sex. So we want to make sure that we build a relationship outside of that as well as take things slow I think :big grin:


    Thanks for your help Rouge
     
  20. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    :( Wife is at the 'boyfriend' and girlfriend's tonight, without me :(

    :mamoru: hopefully she has fun :mamoru:

    I presume however, she will come back with very few stories....we will see :)
     
  21. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    why aren't you with her, those sad smilies don't seem t confident
     
  22. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    They are having a 'girls' night.

    For those that have been keeping up with this thread. We (Lovely, 'boyfriend' and I) are not too sure about the girlfriend. She is really really homosexual. I suspect that we really wont' do much with her. So what we are thinking is Lovely, 'boyfriend' (for those wondering why the '' and have not been following things, boyfriend is a woman) and I will play around and Lovely, 'boyfriend' and girlfriend will play. This might lead to the four of us (probably will a bit) but for now, that is what we are going with. So tonight, they are doing things just the three of them.

    WELLLLL, maybe doing things. 'Boyfriend' just finished up her thesis and handed it in today, so they are just having a fun girls night, with booze, crafts, movie, dinner, etc. They might (they were going to decide tonight) go buy some edible bodypaint and play around a bit, but it was up in the air. So she might have fun tonight, might not.

    But it means that :( I am all alone tonight :(
     
  23. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    Ah. I didn't know 'bf" was a chick. Whatever... so lovely gets some extra attention form another girl that wants nothing to do with cock. don't get butthurt about it or just call the whole thing off if you think you can't handle not getting attention from all the women.
     
  24. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    lol...no, I have no problem with it :mamoru:

    the :( is just a funny :(

    As in, dissapointed not there ;)
     
  25. Zeus'_pet

    Zeus'_pet ..are we there yet?

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    Lovely and Bubba,

    I wish you both the best of luck in this endeavour! I know there is no possible way I could be a part of something like that, I am no where near that strong. I am still trying to get comfy with concept of someone else partaking with us when it finally comes to be... but 3 more..... :noes:

    Wow, how adventerous! :)
     

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