SRS A question about a friend..

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by MTB, May 29, 2006.

  1. MTB

    MTB New Member

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    Ok I met this friend about a month ago. In which I am wondering what to do with this friend. I tried to talk to my friend, but the only answer he gives me is “I don’t know”. I met this friend online and which we decided to meet up. Since then we have been hanging out for the most part every day (later in the day for the most part, but some times mid day as well). Well to go into more details we are both gay guys which I am very proud of.
    The thing gets more complex then what I have said though. Out of the month of knowing him I would say I have stayed at his place 26 out of the 30 days. We cuddle, watch movies, and other stuff while at his place. When we go to sleep I put my arms around him or he puts his arms around me. Also when I meet up with him after work the first thing he does is smile at me. As well calls me for the most part 30 minutes to 1 hour after work. The other day he called me at 1 AM at work (he works night shifts some times during the week) to see what is up, etc.
    So you might think “Well it sounds like he likes you”, but we kinda talked and he is not ready for a relationship which is fine with me. He thinks you should be friends before you go out with someone. Which to me sounds falling into the friend zone. When I talk to my friends some say “You most likely will just be friends” while some others say “He is leading you on.”
    So my question is I guess what should I do?

    :ugh:
     
  2. MTB

    MTB New Member

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    I guess I should add at one point of us sleeping I woke up in the middle of the night, because he gave me a "peck" on the lips.

    I just do not know what to do at this point. We did get in a "semi fight" I guess you could say the other day which I was about to leave his house and he said "I don't want you to leave". :squint:
     
  3. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    You are not in the friend zone. Besides, the friend zone is more a female concept, as per the ladder theory. I've never heard of it applying to relationships between men. It sounds like you are taking it slow, and things are developing. Thats great. Everything sounds good. What should you do? Continue to enjoy your time with him.
     
  4. MTB

    MTB New Member

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    Well he called tonight at 2:45 AM to see what is up. He is suppose to call in a few he is eatting with some friends. I do not mind taking it slow, but why is he so confusing? Why won't he give me a simple answers? All he says is "I don't know". :squint:


     
  5. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Well... maybe he isn't looking for a relationship. That doesn't mean that two guys who hold each other 26 out of 30 nights can't hook up. Are you holding out until he commits?
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Its actually rather easy, dont listen to what he says look at his body instead. If its coming near you it wants to be with you, if its going away from you it dislikes you. Do you want to be with someone you dislike? NO so you move away from that person, same counts for him.
     
  7. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Sounds like he doesn't want to commit to anything. If you're ok with not committing to anything either, then just let things take their own course. :)

    If you don't find the help you need here, there's also a GBLT forum called The Closet on this board. The guys/gals in there will give you some good advice from personal experience.
     
  8. MTB

    MTB New Member

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    Yes you are correct on that. Which makes it even more confusing them ever. For the most part his body comes very close to mine. Like cuddling, watching movies, etc. Like one time we watched a movie at the movie theater we was holding hands.

    He just giving really mix feelings.


     
  9. MTB

    MTB New Member

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    We mess around but that as far as it goes. We cuddle, we relax when watching movies, we chill with friends, we talk online when we see each other online.

    Like last night he called around 2:45 AM and got busy and called me back at 3:00 AM to 3:15 AM (Can't remember was real tired). He asked if I wanted to come over to his house (he knows I live 30 minutes away from him) and I said sure. We stayed up until 5 AM just chillin in his room. With my arms around him from 5 AM until 1:00 PM (when we woke up).

    Just so confusing. :ugh:


     
  10. MTB

    MTB New Member

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    if a MOD would want to move this to the closet forum part that would be great. I guess both would work I guess depends what would work best?
     
  11. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    I don't hear him giving mixed signals. I hear him being pretty loud and clear. He likes you. He wants you. But he is unwilling to commit to a relationship. I would not assume that this will change. This is really common for young guys. If you want a relationship, date an older guy. But even there, there is a tradeoff. They're too clingy.
     
  12. MTB

    MTB New Member

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    That is true. Maybe why I am thinking of mix signals is I am use to dating people older then me (as in 3 to 4 years older). Thanks for the help =-).

     
  13. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    Yea, I definitely think this guy likes you but he's just ready for a relationship. Is he 100% out yet? Cus that could explain some of the hesitation or maybe he's a bad past experience.. or he's just not looking for anything serious and doesnt want to disappoint you.

    Either way, you two need to talk this out because if it's upsetting you, it will add stress to the situation which isn't necessary. Hopefully things work out, but stop stressing, this guy totally wants you. ;)
     
  14. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    It tends to take years for young guys to be able to commit to a relationship. Intimacy and commitment between guys is hard for most young guys. Its probably a good sign that he's holding out, instead of fucking it up.
     
  15. MTB

    MTB New Member

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    For the most part he is 100% out, but there is only a couple of people who do not know that he is gay.

     
  16. MTB

    MTB New Member

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    Well I asked him if we could talk later tonight and he said yes. So I guess I will see what happens. :)

     
  17. MTB

    MTB New Member

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    I can not believe this. He was fucking using me all this time. He told me tonight. :(
     
  18. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    What does that mean? That he doesn't want a relationship?
     
  19. MTB

    MTB New Member

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    That he was using me to get to someone else.
     
  20. Create

    Create :free at last:

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    For a month? What a tease.
     
  21. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    And you buy it? Look, you don't snuggle with someone and smooch them and fool around for 26 out of 30 nights to 'get to someone else.' Doesn't work that way. Never happens. He spent tha intimate time with you because he wanted to. He's just telling you that he can't do a relationship, which you seem to have pushed for, and now that you have he's moving on. "Using" may have been his word... but its bullshit. He likes you, but he isn't going to have a relationship with you and so it appears to be over. He was pretty open about this from the beginning though, right? Its just so much easier to tell someone off than to admit your own fear, problems and weakness. Try not to take it too hard. Its him, not you. He is into you. But he's not relationship boy.
     
  22. MTB

    MTB New Member

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    Well he knew that if friendship was all it would be that I would be fine with that, because he knows I like hanging out with him. Though he said he wanted to talk tonight so I guess I will see what is up.

     
  23. individual

    individual New Member

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    . so true, talking from experience . . . I was on the receiving end ... she gave in after she noticed I stopped "being there"
     
  24. MTB

    MTB New Member

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    Well I am not sure what to do with him at this point. I guess only time will tell, and just being friends with him. Though I am going to hang out with this other guy tomorrow for a bit (I have known him for a while and he is cute). I figure until he figures out what he wants and tells me I am going to live my life.


     
  25. MTB

    MTB New Member

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    I am hoping that what will happen. Him seeing the fact I am not going to be there will make him miss me. Though who knows what will happen??


     

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