FRK A little Friday IM sex ftw!

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Whitemax, Jan 20, 2006.

  1. Whitemax

    Whitemax New Member

    Jul 7, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Please excuse the typos, but had a nice little time at lunch:

    Jonathan: you know you cant help it. You feel the need to please me by doing everything I command you to do
    dirtygirl: MOST DEFFINATLY
    dirtygirl: bring it brotha
    Jonathan: and it makes your sweet little pussy drip thinking about how yummy and naughty the next thing I tell you to do might be
    dirtygirl: mmmmmmmmmm GOD I HATE YOU
    Jonathan: maybe, but you love the fact I can make you cum by my words alone
    Jonathan: that I know exactly what to say and do to make you explode
    dirtygirl: Jonathan
    Jonathan: and that Im so good at it you want to do everything I ask of you
    dirtygirl: YOU'RE SO NAUGHTY
    Jonathan: yes my pet?
    Jonathan: nad youre so horny right now arent you?
    dirtygirl: omfg
    dirtygirl: BITCH
    dirtygirl: shud up or I'll send you my thong soaking wet with my cum
    Jonathan: youve got that tingle right now, and your dieing to drop your jeans and start frigging yourself as you read my words of my tounge licking up your slit
    dirtygirl: SHHHHHHHHHHH
    Jonathan: sliding my tounge into your right wet pussy
    Jonathan: flicking it around your rosebud
    dirtygirl: ughhhh and the fact that i heard your sexy voice last night is making it harder
    Jonathan: back up to your clit as you feel my finger slide in
    dirtygirl: because I can hear you say every word you type
    Jonathan: feeling me force another finger in your wet ass as your pussy juice trickles down
    dirtygirl: Jonathan .... You need to stop
    Jonathan: feeling my lips wrap around your hard little clit
    Jonathan: suckit it like a nipple as my tounge flicks it
    Jonathan: my fingers grinding in and out of you
    Jonathan: stroking that spot you love to be touched
    Jonathan: feeling the fullness of having both holes filled
    Jonathan: as your mind wanders
    dirtygirl: <--- grinds against her chair as her body begins to go numb
    Jonathan: and you wonder how it would feel to have her lips wrapped around your nipples
    Jonathan: sucking and pulling them as she trys to match the rythem Ive started on your clit
    Jonathan: feeling us both moan on your body
    Jonathan: feeling a second finger enter each hole as well
    dirtygirl: be carefull you just might make that pussy squirt
    Jonathan: my fingers flying in and out of your pussy, and getting wetter than youve ever felt before
    Jonathan: stroking your spot hard with firm pressure as your back arches and your eyes roll back
    Jonathan: my teeth grazing your clit as I suck and lick it
    dirtygirl: FFFUUUUUCCCCKKK .............
    dirtygirl: are you attempting to make me cum for you
    Jonathan: terri pinhing and massaging one tit while sucking the other one
    Jonathan: not noticing Ive stood up
    Jonathan: and slam my hard cock into without warning and without ease
    Jonathan: pounding and and out of you
    dirtygirl: you just made me moan outloud
    Jonathan: my other fingers still filling your ass
    Jonathan: terri planing her lips on yours
    Jonathan: as she takes your hand and moves it to her dripping cunt
    dirtygirl: omg jonathan the three of us would be so hot
    Jonathan: as she shoves her tounge in your mouth
    dirtygirl: I;m hungry for her kiss every day
    Jonathan: you feel my fingers meet yours in your pussy
    Jonathan: her pusy that is
    dirtygirl: i know
    Jonathan: as we both finger fuck her
    Jonathan: and I fuck you harder and harder
    dirtygirl: i hear her moaning
    Jonathan: not meaning to but slding out and popping into your ass
    Jonathan: but not breaking the moment I just go with it
    dirtygirl: mmmmm
    dirtygirl: deffinatly
    Jonathan: as she replaces my cock with her fingers in your now empty ussy
    dirtygirl: I want you to kiss
    dirtygirl: hr
    dirtygirl: her
    Jonathan: your ass sooo tight and hot around my cock
    dirtygirl: feel what i've been telling you about
    Jonathan: her forcing 3 fingers in your pussy
    Jonathan: streching you
    Jonathan: as we now have 3 in her and I have one in her ass
    Jonathan: all of us monag and grunting
    Jonathan: moaning
    Jonathan: feeling your ass start to ripple
    Jonathan: flex
    Jonathan: squeeze
    dirtygirl: mmmmmm
    dirtygirl: naughty boy
    Jonathan: and milk my cock and her fingers as you start to pour your fluids out
    Jonathan: exploding with a scream no one has ever heard you make
    Jonathan: causing me to shoot my load in your ass
    dirtygirl: fuck!!!!!!!
    Jonathan: the heat pushing you even further over the top
    dirtygirl: p l e a s e
    Jonathan: in turn causing her to explode
    Jonathan: gushing over our hands
    dirtygirl: that's fucking HOT
    Jonathan: grinding hersoef, trying to get us deeping inside her
    Jonathan: fucking our entertwined hands lick a huge cock
    Jonathan: your mouths pressed so tight together
    Jonathan: tounges down each others throats
    dirtygirl: So do you want to know when I came now
    Jonathan: my cock still inside feeling you flex as it gets softer
    Jonathan: SWEET!
    Jonathan: when did you come?
    dirtygirl: deffinatly need a potty break
    Jonathan: do what?
    Jonathan: you should save it, and send it to her
    Jonathan: see what she thinks of it
    dirtygirl: Jonathan: exploding with a scream no one has ever heard you make
    Jonathan: causing me to shoot my load in your ass
    Chris: fuck!!!!!!!
    Jonathan: the heat pushing you even further over the top
    Chris: p l e a s e
    Jonathan: in turn causing her to explode
    Jonathan: nnice
    Jonathan: thats when I thought you did
    dirtygirl: make me feel what you're saying, Make me hear your voice
    dirtygirl: my legs still tight together Jonathan... I think I could fuck for hours today
    Jonathan: hehehehe
    Jonathan: did you cum without touching yourself again?
    dirtygirl: yessa all i have to do is squeeze my thighs together and think real hard
    Jonathan: SWEEEET!
    dirtygirl: OHHH you have no idea
    Jonathan: So are you going to save it and send it to her?
    dirtygirl: automatically saves.... I will
    Jonathan: niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice
    Jonathan: so what aprt did you like the best?
    Jonathan: you fingering her as I fucked you\
    Jonathan: or me bloweing in your ass?
    dirtygirl: to be honest
    dirtygirl: the part where you accidentally ended up in my ass and stayed there and came there
  2. NYM3

    NYM3 Is this teal life or is it....fanta-sea?

    May 4, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Gunshine state
  3. Whitemax

    Whitemax New Member

    Jul 7, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Hey what can I say, Im bored, and I thought FS might enjoy it...... :p
  4. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the about you just sh

    Jan 27, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Columbus, Ohio
    I may have posted this before, but at least it's on topic.

    sweet17: Hi
    bloodninja: hello
    bloodninja: who is this?
    sweet17: just a someone?
    bloodninja: A someone I know?
    sweet17: nope
    bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
    sweet17: well sorrrrrry
    sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
    bloodninja: why?
    sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
    bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
    sweet17: yes?
    bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
    sweet17: paranoid?
    bloodninja: yes
    sweet17: of what?
    sweet17: me?
    bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
    sweet17: LOL
    bloodninja: Don't [email protected] laugh at me!
    bloodninja: This s*!t is serious!
    sweet17: What are you hiding from?
    bloodninja: The cops.
    sweet17: gimme a [email protected] break
    bloodninja: I'm serious.
    sweet17: I don't get it
    bloodninja: The cops are after me.
    sweet17: For what?
    bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
    sweet17: For???
    bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
    bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
    bloodninja: Hello?
    sweet17: You are [email protected] sick.
    bloodninja: Send me your picture.
    sweet17: why?
    bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
    sweet17: One of what?
    bloodninja: The cops.
    sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
    bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
    sweet17: hold on
    bloodninja: Hurry up.
    bloodninja: Are you there?
    bloodninja: [email protected] you, cop!
    sweet17: Hey sorry
    sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
    bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
    bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
    bloodninja: Weren't you!?
    sweet17: thats not it
    bloodninja: Then what?
    sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
    bloodninja: Most cops aren't
    sweet17: IM NOT A [email protected] COP YOU asshole!
    bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
    sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
    bloodninja: Just send it through here.
    sweet17: alright *PIC*
    sweet17: Did you get it?
    bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
    sweet17: That was me back in may
    sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
    bloodninja: I hope so
    sweet17: what?!?
    sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
    bloodninja: Did it?
    sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
    bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
    sweet17: yes
    bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
    sweet17: kks
    bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
    sweet17: this isn't you.
    bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
    sweet17: You don't look like that.
    bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
    sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
    bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
    bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
    sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
    bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
    bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
    sweet17: Go [email protected] yourself
    bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
    bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
    sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
    sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
    sweet17: you hurt me.
    bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
    sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
    bloodninja: Why would I do that?
    sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
    bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
    sweet17: [email protected] YOU!!!
    bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
    sweet17: You're a [email protected] ASSHOLE!
    sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
    sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
    bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
    sweet17: No you aren't
    bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
    bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
    sweet17: I'm done with you
    bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
    sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
    bloodninja: Wait a sec
    bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
    bloodninja: Wanna start over?
    sweet17: No
    bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
    sweet17: You'll what?
    bloodninja: You heard me.
    bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
    sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
    bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
    sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
    bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
    bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
    sweet17: Like what?
    bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
    sweet17: I don't know
    bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
    sweet17: I'm afraid to
    bloodninja: Why?
    sweet17: cause
    bloodninja: cause why?
    sweet17: well lets see
    sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
    sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
    bloodninja: Nope
    sweet17: well its strange to me
    bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
    sweet17: I didn't say that
    bloodninja: So is that a yes?
    sweet17: I guess so.
    bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
    bloodninja: Are you willing?
    sweet17: What do you need me to do?
    bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
    sweet17: ???
    bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
    bloodninja: ok?
    bloodninja: Hello?
    sweet17: You can't be serious
    bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
    bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
    sweet17: this is retarded
    bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
    sweet17: Yes I want it.
    bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
    sweet17: sure
    bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
    bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
    bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
    bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
    bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth lips.
    sweet17: mmmm yeah
    bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
    sweet17: Har
    bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
    bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
    bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
    bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
    bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
    bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
    sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
    bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I pound harder
    bloodninja: going limp
    sweet17: HARRRRRRR
    bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
    bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
    bloodninja: going limp
    sweet17: this is stupid
    bloodninja: ...still limp
    bloodninja: Do it!
    bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your ass.
    bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
    bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
    sweet17: WTF?!?!?
    bloodninja: They stink really bad.
    sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
    bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
    bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
    bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
    sweet17: YOURE A [email protected] PYSCHO!!
    bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
    bloodninja: And turn you into a [email protected] candy apple...
    bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
    sweet17: [email protected] YOU ASSHOLE!!
    bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
    bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
    bloodninja: ...going limp again.
    bloodninja: Hello?
    bloodninja: Say it!
    bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

  5. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the about you just sh

    Jan 27, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Columbus, Ohio
    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
    Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
    Wellhung: I'm 6′3" and about 280 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from smells funny.
    Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
    Wellhung: OK
    Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
    Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
    Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
    Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
    Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
    Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
    Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
    Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
    Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
    Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
    Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
    Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
    Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
    Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
    Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
    Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
    Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
    Sweetheart: What?
    Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
    Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
    Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
    Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
    Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
    Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
    Sweetheart: What's the matter?
    Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
    Sweetheart: Are you OK?
    Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
    Sweetheart: Can I help?
    Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
    Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
    Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
    Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
    Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
    Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
    Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
    Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
    Wellhung: I found it.
    Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm oaning. I want you so badly.
    Wellhung: Me too.
    Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
    Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
    Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
    Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
    Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
    Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
    Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
    Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
    Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
    Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
    Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
    Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
    Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
    Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put know know...woman's thing.
    Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
    Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
    Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
    Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
    Sweetheart: What?
    Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
    Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
    Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
    Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
    Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
    Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes. oes.
    Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
    Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
    Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
    Sweetheart: BYE!!11
  6. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the about you just sh

    Jan 27, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Columbus, Ohio
    bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja: Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    bloodninja: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja: Baby?
  7. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the about you just sh

    Jan 27, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Columbus, Ohio
    bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
    j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
    j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
    j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
    bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
    bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    j_gurli3: thats it.
    bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
    bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.
  8. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the about you just sh

    Jan 27, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Columbus, Ohio
    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
    eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
    eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
    eminemBNJA: Oh Shit
    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
    eminemBNJA: Oh Shit
    eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
  9. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the about you just sh

    Jan 27, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Columbus, Ohio
    bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
    Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
    bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
    Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
    bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
    Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
    bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
    bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
    Sarah19fca: you like that?
    bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
    Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
    bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
    Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
    bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
    Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
    bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
    Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
    bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
    bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
    bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
    Sarah19fca: /ignore
    bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
    bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.
  10. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the about you just sh

    Jan 27, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Columbus, Ohio
    bloodninja:Wanna cyber?
    DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
    DirtyKate:Who are you?
    bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
    bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
    DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
    bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
    DirtyKate: Haha! OK
    DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
    bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
    DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
    bloodninja:Is this a delivery?
    DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
    bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
    DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
    bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza.
    bloodninja:I'm on my way now though
    DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
    bloodninja:How did you know?
    bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
    bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
    DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
    bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom?
    DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
    bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
    DirtyKate:What the fuck?
    DirtyKate:You perverted piece of shit
  11. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the about you just sh

    Jan 27, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Columbus, Ohio

    bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
    MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
    bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
    MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
    bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
    bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
    MommyMelissa: is that it?
    bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
    bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
    MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
    bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
    bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
    MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
    bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
    bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
    MommyMelissa: ...
    bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
    MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
    bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
    MommyMelissa: whatever.

  12. Whitemax

    Whitemax New Member

    Jul 7, 2005
    Likes Received:
    :rofl: :bowdown: :bowrofl:
    Holy shiat, those are funny as hell......
  13. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the about you just sh

    Jan 27, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Columbus, Ohio
    bloodninja rules.
  14. manchild

    manchild Active Member OT Supporter

    Mar 16, 2005
    Likes Received:


    I was laughing so damn hard, thank you so much.

    I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....

  15. ShoverBot

    ShoverBot Active Member OT Supporter

    Oct 29, 2005
    Likes Received:
    bloodninja is the shit

    Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
  16. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

    Mar 20, 2005
    Likes Received:
  17. GMACK24

    GMACK24 New Member

    Nov 24, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Raynham, Massachusetts
    that is one of the funniest reads EVER... are these just random girls you IM ?.
    Classic... I wish I was half as funny as you.................
  18. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

    Apr 21, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Where Blood Bleeds Orange
    smoked it not bloodninja. and those are old, but they never get boring.

Share This Page