A guy question

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Hootahz314, Apr 19, 2005.

  1. Hootahz314

    Hootahz314 I have daddy issues

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2005
    Messages:
    2,440
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ok, I am married happily and have been for 7 years. But I do have guy friends that are just that...friends, nothing more. I have one in particular that I need an opinion on. This guy is notorious for trying to play head games and usually I catch them before he completely stumps me but this time I have been stumped. About 2 weeks ago he calls me and asks me what it is that I want from the rest of my life, I ask why and he says that he is getting a divorce from his wife of a little over a year and he tells me that he is moving back to the city that I live in. He also asks me when I am getting a divorce, I haven't mentioned divorce to him so the fact that he brought that up is a little wierd. He says that I need to think about it because when he comes home things are going to be different. Different for who and/or what is beyond me.

    Now, 4 days ago I get a quick call from him letting me know that he just left his second meeting with his divorce lawyer. I ask him something about wanting to get a divorce and he said that he doesn't 'want' to get a divorce, he's actually doing it and that is the difference between him and me. That struck me as odd too. Then he let me go. That was our whole conversation. It lasted about 2 minutes. 2 days ago I get an email from him asking why he doesn't hear from me unless he calls me first or whatever, I didn't have an answer, but I emailed some bullshit excuse to him and he bought it I suppose because yesterday he sent me another email asking when we are going to have lunch together and he misses me and all that shit... I am so confused by his actions and have asked a few other people what they think of this situation and they don't have answers.... It isn't like he is a young guy trying to bag me or whatever, he is 33 and can pretty much get any other single chic he wants. So tell me, what is he trying to do here?! I am at a fucking loss.
     
  2. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2002
    Messages:
    1,677
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Long Island, NY
    I dont know what he attemptin to do, but its your responsibilty to tell him flat out that you have no interest in gettin a divorce, nor any interest in him. If you are good friends with him, why did you feel it necessary to email him back 'some bullshit excuse'? Dont let him get the wrong impression, stand your ground. Maybe hes havin a mid life crsis, dont let him drag you into it.
     
  3. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,942
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    Um, so did you tell him you weren't thinking about a divorce? Or are you?
     
  4. NeoPaladin

    NeoPaladin New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2004
    Messages:
    232
    Likes Received:
    0
    If I were you, I just wouldn't even talk to him anymore. He sounds like he's either retarded or thinks he's really suave and clever. Actually, I think he's both.

    What a douchebag. Pick your friends carefully.
     
  5. Hootahz314

    Hootahz314 I have daddy issues

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2005
    Messages:
    2,440
    Likes Received:
    0
    I did tell him I don't have any intent on divorcing my husband. As far as the bullshit excuse goes, I just didn't have an answer because the whole email caught me off guard. Honestly I have never even considered the fact that he might be interested in me. That reminds me of high school drama ya know? He is NOT going to come between my husband and me, that isn't even an option he has and if he feels that he can, he's going to be receiving one helluva reality check. I am loyal to my friends, but I am even more loyal to my man.
     
  6. laracroft

    laracroft teh croft

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2005
    Messages:
    340
    Likes Received:
    0
    That is ODD that he thinks (in his mind) that you were going to get divorced too. He may be afraid to go through with the divorce unless he is sure that he has someone else that he can start seeing right away. :eek: I'd remind him that I was *happily* married.
     
  7. Hootahz314

    Hootahz314 I have daddy issues

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2005
    Messages:
    2,440
    Likes Received:
    0
    He knows that I am happily married. Seriously, I mean when he used to live in the same city as me he SAW how happy I was and he's been told by me that I am not going to get a divorce. I don't see how his moving back is going to change my life, like I said this guy is a game player and usually I stop him in his tracks but this time he caught me off guard completely.
     
  8. laracroft

    laracroft teh croft

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2005
    Messages:
    340
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hmm...okay then you may need to stop talking to him for a while. He may be mad if you start blowing him off, but on the other hand..you don't want to let him mess with your head.
     
  9. Hootahz314

    Hootahz314 I have daddy issues

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2005
    Messages:
    2,440
    Likes Received:
    0
    I haven't tried to get a hold of him once since his call 2 weeks ago. I think I am going to keep that up.
     
  10. laracroft

    laracroft teh croft

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2005
    Messages:
    340
    Likes Received:
    0
    Good. Hopefully he won't keep bugging you :x:
     
  11. teo

    teo . => ? => !

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2004
    Messages:
    3,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Eh?
    Was this guy a friend before you got married? It sounds like he has a thing for you and because you're unattainable he sees this as a personal challenge or something. In any case that would wierd me out and I'd probably distance myself from him. If you think it gets to the point of stalking, make sure you notify the police.
     
  12. I Pwn Noobs

    I Pwn Noobs Guest

    you might as well do what any other female would do
     
  13. kronik85

    kronik85 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    34,837
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Deutschland
    "I ask him something about wanting to get a divorce and he said that he doesn't 'want' to get a divorce, he's actually doing it and that is the difference between him and me."

    i think he's implying that you want a divorce but you're not getting it. the complete opposite of what is happening to him. i'm pretty sure he's moving back to the city or comming back or whatever and is going to pursue you. stop him dead in his tracks before them, tell him very clearly we're just friends, i dont want any sort of relationship with you beyond that. if i were your husband and some guy was pulling this shit on my wife and showed up at my door i'd beat his ass.
     
  14. BiffHenderson

    BiffHenderson New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    1,755
    Likes Received:
    0
    The guy sounds a bit delusional. I think it would be a good idea to keep it light with him for a bit.
     
  15. Hootahz314

    Hootahz314 I have daddy issues

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2005
    Messages:
    2,440
    Likes Received:
    0
    What are you implying? That all females cheat? You've got that all wrong. I love my husband more than anything, I've been with him altogether 10 years and I still smile when I think about him. There is no way that I would ever do anything to him that would hurt him in the slightest. As far as the other questions, no, I met my (ex) friend 5 years ago at a place I worked. Yes, my husband knows about the situation and he is rather pissed and I have ended the friendship because its uncomfortable for my husband and me.
     
  16. nailcrazy

    nailcrazy New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2005
    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    0



    :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:

    Thats how all women should be.. I know mine right now would do the same..:hsd:
     
  17. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2005
    Messages:
    7,659
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    U.S.A.
    If you love your man so much, wtf are you confused about? You are married. This guy want to get into your pants. Don't let him.

    Btw, have you let your husband know what is going on?
     
  18. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2002
    Messages:
    27,033
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston Mass
    my gf ended her relationship with me in basically the same situation :squint:
     
  19. Scott7

    Scott7 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2004
    Messages:
    140
    Likes Received:
    0
    He's no friend if he's trying to get you to divorce your wife.
     
  20. cOugar

    cOugar Guest

    when i read the story this guy sounded fishy to me like a stalker almost lol reminds me of that movie with j lo and that guy that beat her all the time. hope this doesnt scare you haha but i wouldnt talk to that guy very often and not meet him
     
  21. matrixan

    matrixan New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2004
    Messages:
    1,570
    Likes Received:
    0
    ok one thing that struck me is that you are interested in the guy, how did i come up with that? you've mentioned that you love your husband and wouldnt do anything to hurt him. This is pretty significant how you said it. Your not at all discusted or would be if you went out with the guy, seems that the only thing what keeps you from cheating is not hurting your husband.

    In this situation you are the one that makes decisions not your relationship! Another thing is that you wouldnt get all confused and try to analyze if you didnt have some feeling/interested that someone else have noticed you.

    :nono:

    p.s. i am an interigator (russian one too)
     
  22. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2005
    Messages:
    7,659
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    U.S.A.
    an interrogator who can't spell. but russian is fucking hot. and you are also right, this chick is thinkin in the back of her mind about a little side action. I bet she hasn't told the husband about these conversations yet
     
  23. Well it's only obvious that he wants to either get in your pants or wants a relationship.

    This is just my opinion but what ever you do don't lead him on

    Be straight forward tell him how you feel if you want to have a relationship with the guy go for it if you just want to have sex with him go for it if you just like him as a friend tell him so and most important don't send him mixed singles the sooner you let him know how you really feel about him the better.
     

Share This Page