a good story, a little frustrated, and some thoughts

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by dstar, Oct 14, 2009.

  1. dstar

    dstar it's the motherfucking remix. OT Supporter

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    first - i always enjoy reading this forum, always good advice and some seriously hilarious posts. thanks to everyone for making my internet browsing entertaining.

    little about me: i moved quite far away from home 2 and a half years ago, i'm 24. been kind of used to having a girlfriend here, since i met my last girlfriend after about a month of living here. fast forward 2 years and some change later...and i'm out of a 2 year relationship a few months ago, shit ended terribly because my ex cheated on me with someone else while i wasn't around. shit hurts but whatever, shit also happens, right? so since then i've been open to the idea of having another girlfriend and what not, but we all know that takes time so i'm just hanging out with people and just being social since i spent most of my time working or with the old girl, and that's a big gap to fill since i didn't make a lot of friends which was a mistake being wrapped up with her.

    so I meet a few girls here and there, kinda looking for a friends w/ benefits thing so i can stay focused on my career and lets face it a dude's got needs. but ultimately i am hoping to find a new girl that's great - aren't we all!? had a little NSA thing going with a real attractive girl, but that came to an end because of unrelated things (she moved back to college). hung with a few girls and just wasn't feeling it - took one girl out to lunch kinda liked her felt she was the "nice" girl and then found out from a buddy she's seeing someone...she seemed sketchy so never called her back.

    here's where it gets interesting. met a pretty interesting cute girl, not the sharpest tool in the shed, but pretty fun to chill with...met her at a friends when he was having a fair share of people at his place. she lives across from him. ended up getting the #, hang out with her a few days later. she invites me over, and we end up watching a movie and hanging out with a group of friends. i figure good candidate for a friends w/ benefits or something, but i'm open minded. girl is super into me - started asking me what's up with what, you know. what do you look for in girls, i'm really happy i met you you're a lot of fun...shit like that. seems cool, well being an idiot and unlike my character i hook up with her that night. i never throw myself out there like that...but i've been frustrated and just let it go that far. my thoughts at the time were she was super into me, and i assumed she was going to want something out of it well before the physical shit, so why not. i wake up with her in my bed at some odd hour in the afternoon, and she's all over me. i take a shower and come back in my room to her kissing me and shit. "still want to hang out tonight" "i had a great time, at first i didn't want to, but i'm so glad we did"...etc etc. so i figured she was really into me, didn't mind spending time with her by any means even aside from the sex. not to mention it was really good, ha.

    sure enough, drop her off because she has shit to do and she tells me she'll call me when she's done. i know i'm gonna get that guy saying "yea you sucked in bed and she didn't want to fuck with you again or hurt your feelings" but i'm sure that wasn't the case, and i'm just being honest, not trying to brag on the internetzzz because i think i fuck like a porn star or something.

    girl never texts me, calls me, nothing. lol. thought the guy was the one that did that generally...haha. i'm not upset about it aside from the fact i shouldn't have slept with her so quickly - lesson learned...girls probably easy and i'm just an idiot...oh well, at least it was good, right? didnt think anything of it, til later that afternoon i hit her off with a call since we made plans, no answer. friendly text 30 mins later just saying "hey, what's up, if you still want to get together let me know". no reply so no more contact from me, don't want to be that guy. so 2 days later and i'm nothing more then just curious then anything why someone would be acting like they wanted more and then just disappear.

    ...this is where my long winded ranting is going though - am I fighting tough odds looking for a reasonably attractive girl that is into exclusivity at my age, and halfway intelligent to boot? like, i'm pretty social and i really don't introduce my career as a DJ/producer to people i intend to date until i get to know them - i hate the stereotypes i'm sure it gives off as i don't bring girls home from the club ever. i'm clean, don't ever drink or do drugs, no smoking, nothing like that. i have no confidence issues, in fact (and this isn't intended to come off assholeish) but i really feel bad for a few of my best friends since they dont have the mentality i do with just approaching people and meeting them. also i don't go for any certain "type" of girl, i'm open minded - in a month i've hung with a grad student, a professional model (which was just funny to me, girl was nuts), and two college girls that are far from similar on the social spectrum. there always seems to be some strange catch or its just odd and never works out.

    i'd say i have my shit together for my age - i don't mean to boast what i have by any means cuz there's always someone with more money and a better job - but since no one knows me here and i'm just trying to cover all my bases - i've got a nice place and a nice car and i keep both clean and well maintained.

    i just don't get it - i have a bunch of female friends that are reasonably attractive and we're strictly friends cuz that's just how i like them (not some stupid friend zone shit) - and they're all like "yeah i don't know what to tell you, just keep trying, you're doing a good job meeting em, they just don't seem on your level" but it just gets frustrating. guess i'll have to keep trying, and even though i know it's not the truth since i've been happy in relationships before and will after this post, it gets frustrating after awhile...seems like at my age of partying and hooking up i'm just looking for something relatively serious and no one else really is. alright, typed way too much....i'm out. thanks for reading.

    cliffs:
    is it THAT hard to find decent gf material these days...damn!
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2009
  2. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Hmm. That does seem strange. I mean I know shit like that happens, but I've never had a girl just disappear after a night like that. I wouldn't take it personally though. I'm sure it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her.

    That said, finding the right girl seems to always be a challenge. I think if it were easy, then waaaay more people would be in the right relationship instead of single or in unhappy relationships. Takes time, learning about oneself, and generally a body or two barried in the desert somewhere. Just sayin'.
     
  3. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Honestly bro, who gives a shit.

    I'd just say keep doing you. You're out of that relationship, you understand the only way to 'find' new girls is to actively look, and you seem to be doing that. As far as finding a 'decent' girl or a girl worth it, just wait. They'll come around, dont force yourself into a relationship, or finding a relationship just because
     
  4. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

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    I was just about to make this same thread.

    I've been dating/trying to meet new chicks but about 90 percent of the chicks that I meet on my own or thru friends don't want a relationship because of whatever reason. However, I have never liked just "dating around" because it's really hard on the wallet and I have my own friends with whom I like to spend my time and money. I don't mind going on dates with chicks to get to know them at first but I always hope it leads somewhere other than "well this was fun we should do it agian sometime (insert awkward hug here) :hsugh:"

    I feel your pain broseph. Hang in there.
     
  5. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    If dating is costing you too much money, you're doing something wrong.
     
  6. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    don't take it as a lesson learned. its a freak accident. Its extremely rare for a woman to sleep with you and then not take your calls. Sleeping with thm at the earliest opportunity is the smart play.

    That being said, in this case, you are cooked. Nothing left to do but get back out there, keep having fun, and if she calls, be chill about the whole thing. She doesn't owe you anything.
     
  7. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

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    Dating doesn't cost me too much money but there are other things I would like to spend my money on. Also, I have started to open my dating range and if the girl prefers that I pick her up it costs a few gallons of gas. I'm not saying that I am cheap, but it's like throwing the dice: sometimes I will get a good roll but chances are that I seven out and lose my investment.
     
  8. Holliday

    Holliday New Member

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    You guys seem to be having the exact opposite problem of me. I can't find girls that just want to get down. Last two girls I was hanging out with I would try to sex them up, get rejected, tell them I'm not looking for anything serious, then I would never see them again :ugh:

    Of course the skanks would say they weren't looking for anything serious either, but that was just to save face.
     
  9. dstar

    dstar it's the motherfucking remix. OT Supporter

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    you're certainly right - i got real 'lucky' finding my last girl right off the bat, i only rolled through like 3 or 4 girls here before that happened. sure she sucked in the end, but you know what i mean, we had a great relationship for the most part.

    agreed entirely, that's why i'm cool with a FWB thing right now, but i got ultimately frustrated cuz usually they fucking stick around :rofl: that shit just pushed me over the edge with how into me she seemed...last girl i had bail was a few years ago was after a month of NSA sex because she did the whole crying/im in love with you and you want NSA etc etc. i wouldn't do a relationship just cuz, i don't like to lead girls on - the 'cryer' i told right after i kissed her i was like, just so you know...

    right, that's what i thought! haha. usually thats hook line and sinker in my experience too. yeah, i don't really wait for her to call, but if she does it'll be interesting to see what happens. if anything does happen, i can see a late night text or something odd. or even my friend from across the way hearing something, that could be funny. either way i'm not going to do anything about it by any means. although i do wonder (not worry) about what made her go from extremely interested to not even answering my calls.

    see.. my best friend, nicest guy in the world but it bites him in the ass sometimes, has that problem. my personality - even my best female friend says it - makes me seem like i'm a player. i hate it because i'm the total opposite and i have no fucking idea where girls think I am a player - it's hilarious to me. but it's just the impression i give i guess, and personally i think it's mind blowing because i'm a kid who likes to make music with his computer. haha. maybe it's just the vibe you give, cuz i have the 'player' problem, while my best friend has never had a FWB only one-nighters/short lived hookups/serious GFs and i tend to always be getting the less serious sides easier then him. it's strange and annoying, but i think it just branches off from the vibe you give. my best friend would never have the balls to approach a girl cold and make conversation, and i've done that before, so maybe that's part of it, and the girl thinks i would just do that anywhere even while shes around since women seem to be quite cautious these days when dating seriously...

    random side note, i also feel like i get approached more lately since my last girl and I broke up, but i hate getting approached...anyone else feel that way? i'm just weirded out by a girl hitting me on facebook or something i don't know that well and just trying to holler. maybe i'm a judgemental asshole, but when a blonde 8/10 hits me on facebook and gives me her #, i'm like alright what STDs will I be getting with this one....lol
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    The only benefit of being this way is you get to say, "I'm cool because I reject you. Look how picky I am! This 8/10 isn't worth me."

    FYI, girls do this more often than guys.

    If that's the benefit you get, then kudos... I have felt the same temptation, though in retrospect it's not the game i want to play (validation).

    If not then you are just losing out here. It's not 1953, a girl knowing what she wants is a good thing.
     
  12. dstar

    dstar it's the motherfucking remix. OT Supporter

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    eh I don't really feel like that, it's more of me being skeptical like, why is it this easy, this girl i don't even know is going to hit me up with her #, and just text me like i'm her guy for a few weeks til i'm in town. sounds like groupie shit to me so i'm kinda sketched by that.
     
  13. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Whatever just don't be evil
     
  14. dstar

    dstar it's the motherfucking remix. OT Supporter

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    nah, never. i don't get off on that shit. i'm usually the type to just fade things out.

    just to slap it in the face, i got a booty call last night at 2am from the grad student i was FWB with, she was in town. didn't bother picking up. i decided it's time to look for something a little better, and besides it just made me feel cheap after what happened before. so i said fuck it. called her back to see whats up, not be rude, and sure enough she was drunk, i just lied and told her i was in bed half asleep and had to get up at 10am. shit just didn't feel good, i laughed it off though and went to bed.

    i was chopping it up with my friend who lives across the hall from that girl - seein what he was up to. he asked me what happened with that girl, saying that a few guys that he lived with said they saw us in and out that night. then he even said one of his friends mentioned running into me down the street at the gas station! wtf, right?! soooo....i thought about and realized...i ran into a girl who knew my ex (they went to HS together) and i forgot entirely...but girl i got with's roommate invited her over since they're "friends." girl i got with later, well she said why are you inviting her over that's weird...sure enough she texts the roommate and the roommate being dumb reads it out loud..."why are you hanging out with (dstar)?"

    i'm guessing that the girl was mad enthusiastic when i dropped her off, and her roommate asked about me, and since my ex-girl and i ended badly (her fault but she would never admit she cheated on me) it probably just got lost in translation along the way and made me look bad. stupid explanation, but shit, it seems like mad people really liked talking about it and maybe that drew wrong. i'm far from a player but i do give that vibe...whatever though. a mature person would have simply confronted me and asked me.
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2009

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