A friend needs to restore passion in her relationship

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by 1BadZ, Apr 10, 2007.

  1. 1BadZ

    1BadZ Uber :Aug2000: GM Nazi

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    Cliffs: A friend of mine and her boyfriend has lost the passion in their relationship. Anyone have advice for them?

    A good friend of mine is having trouble with her boyfriend of 3 & ½ years, whom she moved in with 2 months ago. They moved in together because they wanted to see more of each other, and the opposite has happened. She’s frightened that all the passion in the relationship has gone and is having a crisis about what is going on.

    She has a very high level of energy, she’s always on the go and always wants to go out and do whatever. He goes along most of the time, but he’s turned into a work-a-holic. She says that he’s driven, and to a fault.

    One of the biggest problems is that she doesn’t get as much sex as she likes, nor is the quality real great as of late because of him working all the time. She confided in me that she can’t remember the last time that she got her rocks off. The problem is that he feels pressured into doing stuff when he isn’t in the mood, and then that turns her off, and then it just doesn’t happen.

    The latest example is that after I and some other friends of theirs left their apartment, they decided to have sex, and this is how it went: He started out with: “You wanna…?” She replied: “Eh.” And he ends up cutting her with his fingernail while fingering her. Even I felt some pain when she told me that. Ow. She wasn’t even really into it and then that happened. That doesn’t bode well.

    Another example is when him, her, a lady friend of mine, and myself went out bowling. Before we went out, he was complaining that he was going to lose 2 hours of sleep.

    Her problem is that she’s thinking about settling for what she has and living without the passion and being content with her hobbies and friends.

    Although she told me that she recently found out what passion was again, she didn’t tell me where, but that she isn’t so sure that she can live without it.

    I’m out of ideas for her. She was given the advice of cutting him off from sex to get his drive up, but she can’t live without it for that long since she needs it more than he does. I told her she might want to find another source of dick, but she didn’t seem that enthusiastic about cheating on her boyfriend.

    Anyone have advice for her?
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Yeah, tell her to talk to her bf about their problems, not other people.

    It's their concern. If she is going to other people for advice, how is she going to deal with the problem? She needs to discuss this with him.
     
  3. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    you told her to cheat on him?
    good friend, you are.
     
  4. 1BadZ

    1BadZ Uber :Aug2000: GM Nazi

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    :big grin: I'm more concerned about her happiness than his. :dunno:

    There lies another problem, communication issues. She tried talking to him about it a few times, and nothing really changed.
     
  5. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    if that were the case, you wouldn't tell her to make hers a bad breakup. you wouldn't make her feel dirty, slutty, and guilty for causing her future ex the pain he's going to experience when she finds out.

    unless of course, you want them to hate each other so that you could move in on her...
    edit: last part only makes sense if op is a guy.
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2007
  6. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Oh wow an unapologetically crass, selfish outlook on life from a woman. Stop the presses.

    Sounds like the boyfriend is just being lazy and taking her for granted. If he can't get the hint and is acting like a turd she oughta dump him and find someone better, not be a lying whore because it's more convenient.

    She's complained, and he's unwilling to make an effort, it's only a matter of time before she finds a new guy who attracts her more (maybe she already has).
     
  7. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Sounds like it's over. How old is she?
     
  8. awdboost

    awdboost New Member

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    Like someone else said I think she needs to talk with him. And make sure if he knows exactly how she feels. If he doesn't change dump him. But make sure she talks to him about his problem. It will be wrong for her to dump him without giving him a chance to change or even know she is really bothered by his behavior.

    Talk, if he doesn't change dump him. Cheating is never a good thing I wouldn't have recommended that. She cheats he finds out, and then dumps her she gets the rep of being a cheater. :nono:
     
  9. 1BadZ

    1BadZ Uber :Aug2000: GM Nazi

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    With 3 & 1/2 years invested in the relationship, could any breakup not be bad? I'm guessing there's a bad break ups then really bad break ups.

    Needless to say, she's not too keen on the prospect of cheating, and no I'm not too interested in her to make a move. She's securely in my friend zone.

    We'll save my sociopath traits for another thread. :o

    You did bring up a good point about him being lazy and unwilling to make an effort. I'll pass that along.

    20.



    She might even want to make a play book to make sure all of her issues are addressed in the talk they have. That or just submit it to him in writing, he is a business type and he might respond better to that. :dunno:
     
  10. MissJenn

    MissJenn New Member

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    shes 20 years old? so this is her high school BF? tell her to take a break-go live at home for a few months and get herself together. if/when she decides she wants to come back to her lazy BF then she should make that decision. theres no point in wasting the best years of your life with someone who wont try as hard as you do.

    (been in this position-tell her to NEVER sacrafice her happiness for a worthless lazy guy...NEVER EVER)
     
  11. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    No, but I have some advice for you. You're a whore and I feel sorry for your boyfriend. Oh wait, that wasn't advice. :rofl:
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Maybe your friend should not go bowling so late. I'd be pissed, too, if I was going to lose 2 hours of sleep. Sounds like your friend isn't being concerned with her bf's needs. Did he have to get up early the next day for something?
     
  13. 1BadZ

    1BadZ Uber :Aug2000: GM Nazi

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    She just moved out to get away from her bat-shit-crazy mom, I don't think she wants to move right back in with her parents, and she hasn't graduated yet so getting her place isn't an option either.

    I agree on not sacrificing happiness.

    Fixed.

    Saturday night, and I couldn't care less if he had to get up early in the morning. If he had to anyway, he shouldn't of come out instead of bitching about coming.
     
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I thought you were a chick cuz you said your female friend was talking to you about relationship/sex problems. My mistake.
     
  15. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    actually your friend has the potential to have the prototype "ok breakup." when two people realize they no longer love each other but still have shared a lot with each other and have never severely misreated one another, they can transition from being in a relationship to being friends with little drama.
     
  16. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    There's the problem then. Relationships that start when you are 17 are not meant to last forever. It will be hard for her to accept but the relationship is over and it's time to move on. The guy is only sticking around because he's used to her and doesn't really know how to end a relationship or how to know when it's over.
     
  17. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    o... mine too.
     
  18. awdboost

    awdboost New Member

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    Oh you are not a girl?? Before I jump into conclusions, do you like this girl???

    I'm thinking you like your friend. She is a good friend who thinks tells you everything, and you sorta got attached. Now you realized she's having problems; you think this is the perfect opportunity to jump in.\

    Do you really like her?????
     

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