SRS A Confession- I am scum of the Earth

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by 46&2, Jan 11, 2006.

  1. 46&2

    46&2 Self ******

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    Tonight, my girlfriend of two years came over to the house. I hadn't seen her since September. (we live four hours apart) She has been busy taking care of her family over this time. Moving her elderly parents from one state to another. We had spoken over the phone, albiet it was at times strained. We hadn't been able to see each other over this time since our schedules were opposite of each other. (We're both in the medical field).


    So we had planned for her to come over tonight. She was bringing over Christmas Gifts for me, and she was also bringing some stuff I had in her storage bin over in her town.


    Now, the first week of December, I had a downfall. I was drinking, and slept with a co-worker. I know, I know. Anyway, I did wear a condom, and during it, I realized what I was doing, and stopped. She was obviously pissed, but no matter. This girl no longer works there.

    So, girlfriend is coming over. I'm thinking she's going to break up with me. I was far, far off. She was wanting to start over, clean slate, and for us to move to another place and start anew.




    So I'm thinking, this is great!!! Here I was all doom and gloom, and she is wanting to patch things up, and move forward. So I thought I should be completely honest and be forthright and tell her about the incident.


    *now before I get into this, I wasn't expecting it to be all roses*


    Long story short, she left, crying, told me to lose her number and drove off. (I followed her to her car) After about 2 hours on the phone and getting cussed out (deservingly) I told her this.

    I want to be with you. Yes, I fucked up, but I would like to continue this relationship and move forward. I will call you Thursday afternoon to see if you are willing to accept me. If you are not, then I will leave you alone, and will call from time to time to let you know that I am doing ok. If you are, then we will disscus it further. She said to call, but she might not pick up the phone. (FYI-- Her ex-husband, 7 years ago, cheated on her 3 times.)


    So yeah, Scum of the Earth here. :sadwavey:

    (of course I have left alot of the phone conversations out)
     
  2. marauder

    marauder New Member

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    Yeah well shit happens hay you slept with co worker and you stoped whe nyou knew what you were doing, you were honest about it to your girlfriend when you didn't have to tell her.
    The fact is that her ex cheated on her will make it harder for her to get over what happened if she can.

    Hope it all goes well, If it was me I don't think I would of told here she wanted to start over with a clean slate so what you did was in the past no need to of told her (should of let sleping dogs lye) about it at all I think.
     
  3. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    Just leave her alone and don't call her anymore.
     
  4. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    Wow. At least you 1. stopped when you realized what you were doing; 2. were honest with her. It would be a lot harder if she had somehow found out on her own down the road that you kept it from her. Dont call her very often, its more than likely going to be a lot harder for her to get over this after being cheated on before by someone. Give her a call, say what you have to say, and then tell her she can always call you when she's ready to.
     
  5. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Given her history... you shouldn't have told her. Trust issues ftl.
     
  6. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    It's only too bad you didn't realize what you were doing BEFORE you screwed up your relationship.
    Why should she take you back? You admited yourself that things are strained between the two of you. What do you truly have to offer her and what does she offer you?
    Give her some time to cool down (and it might take weeks/months). You did a horrible thing breaking down the trust that is so neccesary in a long distance relationship. If she DOES take you back I bet it's quite some time before you are ever truly trusted again.
    good luck.
     
  7. Rich Uncle Skeleton

    Rich Uncle Skeleton Lurker

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    I must say that say you did the right thing by telling her about the incident with the other girl. Not many people have the balls to come clean with that type of mistake.

    Also remember, the foundation for any relationship is trust. It looks like you threw that out the window when you were with that other girl. Now the question is, is your girl worth pursuing to try and rebuild that trust? Based off what happened with her previous marriage, you'll have a lot of work to do if you want to be with this woman. You may have to do some soul searching and see if its best to just end it and move on.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Most misery in life people usually bring upon themselves, quite horrible what you did to her, and for what reason? Have you taken even 1 second her feelings into consideration for screwing around with another girl? Put yourself in her shoes, that you find out your girl is breaking your heart by sleeping with your brother or close friend. How would that make you feel?

    Therefore ALWAYS think 'how would it make me feel if i was in her shoes'
    Therefore ALWAYS think before you act.

    :uh:

    Don't waste any effort on making her happy again, you don't deserve her.
     
  9. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    The problem is that we all are the "scum of the earth". Perhaps you shouldn't have told her, but you did. I think what she doesn't realize is that this was a major turning point for you. You learned from your error. She stands a much better chance of long term fidelity with you, then with someone who hasn't gone through such a negative experience.
     
  10. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    Well, you make a good point there.

    I actually have some level of gratitude for the experience I went through, because it ultimately revived a lot of "dead" parts of me and killed many of my negative aspects. (Feel kinda like a Phoenix and a Butterfly because of it)
    Pain is learning, and I LEARNED in spades. LOL
    Still learning.
    (and struggling, I can't say that I am "all better" now, but getting there slowly)
    One thing I am growing to accept is to not create expectations or assumptions about anyone's ability to be faithful. Even the nicest people can, and will do stupid things,( I never EVER thought my husband would stray, NEVER) and things that will hurt the hell out of people they love. That kind of behavior often comes from a place of desparation, and desire to escape their own pain/realities, and usually not from a desire to hurt a loved one, IMO.
    It doesn't necessarily have to be a deal breaker.

    I know the stupid things I have done were never done with the intention to really hurt another person.

    Anyway, I really HOPE this was a major turning point for you because even if it doesn't work out with this woman, you (hopefully) won't repeat this behavior again when you are committed to someone else.
     
  11. Ded Guy Walkin

    Ded Guy Walkin New Member

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    I believe that in any relationship, FULL DISCLOSURE is neccissary. Even if its going to hurt. Because imagine how much worse it will be if five years from now, everythings peachy, then somehow your woman finds out about that drunken night with your cooworker? Itd be 10x worse. At least she heard it from you and not from someone else.

    I commend you for having the stones to tell her up front what you did. But being drunk is no excuse for cheating. I know . . cause I've done it too. And you're right, you do feel like the worlds biggest piece of crap when the implications of what you've done really hit you. I still cant forgive myself, and its been 2 years. Hopefully things work out for you tho, cheers man.
     
  12. 46&2

    46&2 Self ******

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    Thanks you for all your responses.

    She just called me an hour ago and we just got off the phone.


    It was a good chat, and we actually laughed a few times. We talked a lot about the good times over the past two years. I also got my ass chewed (rightfully) again.

    I'm visting her Sunday afternoon, mutual decision, so we shall see.


    And a side note, I had prided myself on never cheating on anybody. I had always been the one getting cheated on. Guess I won't be saying that anymore.
     
  13. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    Best wishes to you.
     
  14. Ded Guy Walkin

    Ded Guy Walkin New Member

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    yea man, good luck, keep up posted
     

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