SRS 5 yrs of marriage over

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by nbkny17, May 31, 2006.

  1. nbkny17

    nbkny17 New Member

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    My wife of 5 yrs told me this morning that we are done. No counseling or anything, she just wants out because she is tired. I am more sad that I will not see my son everyday. Part of me is relieved that she wants out because all we have done for the last few months is fight. I've been going to counseling myself for years due to my first marriage failing at 6 weeks.

    I don't know how to feel, its like I have all these mixed emotions inside of me. :confused:

    I am not looking for pity or anything, it just seems to make me feel better to talk about it or even just type it out to complete strangers.
     
  2. sleev

    sleev It's sleep, life, and death It's speed, coke, and

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    If she's not willing to work at it and go to counseling, and you are, well I suppose you are just the better person. It does suck that your son will be the one to suffer the most because of it, though.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    no, no pity. none wanted, so, none given.

    What I will say is that I do know what you are probably feeling, and to tell you that you are on the right road by going to counselling to talk out your issues.

    Remember there are people here, also willing to listen, and offer some advice.

    Stick to your guns man, keep plugging along there. It's gonna work out.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    The way i hear it it will be a relieve for you, it really sucks for your son tho.

    Remember , never put darkness and hatred into the life of someone else. Small arguments can lead to big break ups, you didn't marry her so she could make your life hell, and she didn't go with you to be scolded for months either right? These arguments act as droplets of poison into your marriage, it slowly withers and deteriorates.

    Therefore ONLY put love and light on a continues basis in any given relationship. Often the argument isn't even worth it , if it is then its time to try to discuss it, and if that doesn't work then it might be better to go seperate ways.
     
  5. nbkny17

    nbkny17 New Member

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    this is not my first marriage either.

    I am relieved, but I am not if that makes any sense. I am not gonna miss the nit pickiness or the constant orders shouted out but I am gonna miss being a family. I have another son with my first wife and I missed so much of his young years due to a bitter battle between his mom and I. I do not plan on going that road again.

    I am glad I am in counseling too. It helps with alot of issues I have had pent up inside of me for years.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Well indeed , key is that you have had these 'issues' before in your previous marriage, its time you open up and tell what has lead every marriage into arguments and constant battles :sad2:
     
  7. nbkny17

    nbkny17 New Member

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    no the issues I have with my current wife was not the same as my ex. My ex and I were 20 and young. We rushed into things and decided it was for the best that we split. We are really good friends now.

    I do have issues though. :)
     
  8. kaxfenix

    kaxfenix Guest

    A dear friend gave me some advice once when I was going through the very same crap you are. It is not some deep profound knowledge that made it all better, but in truth and in the very simplest forums it helped me immensely.

    He said: “What is happening to you is a horrible thing. However, at this very moment and for as long as you choose, you are free to do what ever it is you want. So enjoy ….. “
     
  9. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You know, that in fact, IS very deep and profound. That is excellent advice.
     
  10. michaele36

    michaele36 New Member

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    just be a good father. tell your son its not his fault and that you just want the best for him. and always remember, he comes first before other women
     
  11. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    If she's not willing to work it out and go to counseling in my opinion she has other issues than just not wanting to be with you anymore.

    Marriage is a team effort. It requires both partners to work together. Because YOU are going to counseling doesn't always make the situation any better. It would have been much better if she participated in it as well.

    I don't doubt you're a good person. Just be there for your son.
     

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