5 Months after my break up of 6 years...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Posterchild, Sep 20, 2007.

  1. Posterchild

    Posterchild OT Supporter

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    Well well... the day after the breakup I could of told you I don't think I'm going to make it. Here I am 5 months later and WHAT A FUCKING CHANGE. It's really hard to explain the change but I definitely notice one. It's like both worlds have soooo many advantages. The feeling I had and still have to this day is that I HAVE TO ABSOLUTELY HAVE SOMEONE! It's that feeling of love and having someone care for you 100% of the time that I got use to. Being able to take that loved one out to eat, hold there hand, know what your doing for the weekend before it gets here etc. I got soooo immune to having it that I still don't really feel like I can function without it. I guess its like a druggy doing hard shit for 6 years then someone takes it all away.

    Now the cool thing about it is I have done so much shit for my self that I wouldn't of been able to do had I still been with my ex. She was not into traveling far places so we never really did it. I always wanted to go to NYC and visit family in Denver but she fucking hated my family in Denver and was terrified of NYC after the terrorist attacks and pretty much told me it would never happen. Well this summer I have been to Vegas, Denver and Colorado. She was also big on not letting me spend ANY TIME with the friends. I have now formed some of the strongest bonds with them than I ever have my whole life. It feels so good to be able to hang out with them be it bars, clubs, gym or just shooting hoops. Its such a great feeling to do so many things I never was able to do.

    I have always been soooo into music and music is really the power that pulled me together through all the shit! My advice to those just going through a break up is to jam out some music that relates to what you are going through. I was never a fan of John Mayer but after my break up I went to Denver to visit family and my cousin took me to his concert to which I DID NOT care for (but it was in red rocks) but I did it any way and let me tell you.... it was life changing to hear that music. so much of it was music I could relate too and has really kept me together.

    Today I find my self comfortable. Im not sad and im not really happy.... im just comfortable. The fucked up thing is I have dreams about my ex 5 out of 7 days of the week. those are the hardest mornings to get up. In the dreams its like we never broke up... its like its another day with the girl that I was with for 6 long years. It's so weird.... its gotten to the point where in my dream I recognize its a dream but I go on with it. In my dream last night my gf was resting her head on my chest like she use to do and the lights were out and we had a long talk... toward the end I told her "I know this is a dream and I know I'm about to wake up, I'm just glad I can spend this time with you just to talk" she replied "What are you talking about?" then BOOM I blinked my eyes awake and it was 6am. Of course I couldn't go back to bed but at the same time I didn't really want to in fear of continuing the dream.

    My mom just told me she had dinner with my ex about 4 weeks ago and told me my ex was crying because she felt she wasn't going to be able to be a part of the family any more and have those long talks with my mom like she used to. She gave my mom a box full of letters that I gave back to her the day we broke up (my ex met my mom cause it was her last day in town before heading to another city for college.) She said she was going to get ride of them but rather I have them back. I haven't said a word to the ex (same vice versa) for 5 months and don't plan to what so ever.

    I have been on the hunt for a new lady for all 5 months and I have learned so much about finding them. I would get numbers from the bars, clubs and so forth but never called them back... I just didn't care too. I really stopped and thought to my self "Do I really want a bar chick?" and in the end I come up with the same answer... no. It sucks cause Im in school with 0 hotties in my class and all the hotties are taken everywhere I go. Im giving it time because I know it will come around but I just felt I had to get this all out to OT. Thanks for hearing me out fellas and ladies.

    Cliffs: All That shit by you.
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2007
  2. Bilbo

    Bilbo New Member

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    wifey moved out 2.5 months ago
     
  3. lionsgraphics

    lionsgraphics OT Supporter

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    Read all of it. can relate to the dream part and music. Life is one bumpy road.
     
  4. not your average

    not your average      ¯¯¯¯ ¯¯¯¯¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ OT Supporter

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    you're
     
  5. Posterchild

    Posterchild OT Supporter

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    agreed! thanks again for hearing me out
     
  6. High Voltage

    High Voltage Guest

  7. lionsgraphics

    lionsgraphics OT Supporter

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    Keeping myself busy helps :hs:
     
  8. High Voltage

    High Voltage Guest

  9. Posterchild

    Posterchild OT Supporter

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    typed it in like 5 minutes. oops
     
  10. MobileSuit

    MobileSuit New Member

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    paragraphs?
     
  11. Posterchild

    Posterchild OT Supporter

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    nah I just went off the dome and didn't care to edit. Maybe next time I will
     
  12. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    lol, btw that sucks :(
     
  13. Posterchild

    Posterchild OT Supporter

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    I guess its life ... I have finally learned to accept it after all this time. I just want to move along and meet the right one.
     
  14. Contemptor

    Contemptor OT Supporter

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    I actually read that. Good luck. I'm suprised you've been able to go 5 months without communication after a 6 year breakup. Stronger than I'd be probably. That's a long time to be dating :o
     
  15. essejgnad

    essejgnad poopty pangts

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    It sucks to not have anyone but..

    it feels pretty good to have time for yourself though!
     
  16. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    That's good man one step at a time. Those dreams would really bother me. You sound like you're still young, so it's only really up from here, especially if you are in school. I wouldn't recommend finding a girl now though, if you are still in school. Unless you guys make it clear you will focus more on studies than each other. I know I sorta made the mistake of falling for someone, although I don't want to say it was, since I've never felt more alive now, than I ever have.
    Keep up the good work and progress!
     
  17. Posterchild

    Posterchild OT Supporter

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    yeah it really is hard not too but when the way we ended it was not civil at all. it got really ugly really fast. I wish it didn't so we can at least be friends but way to much shit happened.
     
  18. Posterchild

    Posterchild OT Supporter

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    I agree with this. It feels good but then when NOTHING is going on I tend to get antsy and get anxiety and shit.
     
  19. Bilbo

    Bilbo New Member

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    I just miss my morning grope.....
     
  20. Posterchild

    Posterchild OT Supporter

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    yeah I'm 23. Yeah the dreams do bother me really bad. I'm in my sophomore year of college and just trying hard to move on up in the world. Maybe really soon my feelings will change about wanting a girl so bad.
     
  21. Spazmatazz

    Spazmatazz down is the new up

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    read it too. good luck. you'll probably find the girl you want to be with when you're not really trying to find her or not looking at all.
     
  22. Posterchild

    Posterchild OT Supporter

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    haha so true. thats how it always seems to happen.
     
  23. Background Music

    Background Music I have a love/hate relationship with love and hate

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    I read every damn word because I feel you on this one. I just got dumped from a 4.6 year relationship. The dreams, the bar bitches, it's close to home on this one.

    :wtc:
     
  24. Posterchild

    Posterchild OT Supporter

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    thanks man! really thanks for takin time to read
     
  25. muted

    muted New Member

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    I just read all of that.

    Cliffs on why you broke up? Oh, and pics?
     

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