Well well... the day after the breakup I could of told you I don't think I'm going to make it. Here I am 5 months later and WHAT A FUCKING CHANGE. It's really hard to explain the change but I definitely notice one. It's like both worlds have soooo many advantages. The feeling I had and still have to this day is that I HAVE TO ABSOLUTELY HAVE SOMEONE! It's that feeling of love and having someone care for you 100% of the time that I got use to. Being able to take that loved one out to eat, hold there hand, know what your doing for the weekend before it gets here etc. I got soooo immune to having it that I still don't really feel like I can function without it. I guess its like a druggy doing hard shit for 6 years then someone takes it all away. Now the cool thing about it is I have done so much shit for my self that I wouldn't of been able to do had I still been with my ex. She was not into traveling far places so we never really did it. I always wanted to go to NYC and visit family in Denver but she fucking hated my family in Denver and was terrified of NYC after the terrorist attacks and pretty much told me it would never happen. Well this summer I have been to Vegas, Denver and Colorado. She was also big on not letting me spend ANY TIME with the friends. I have now formed some of the strongest bonds with them than I ever have my whole life. It feels so good to be able to hang out with them be it bars, clubs, gym or just shooting hoops. Its such a great feeling to do so many things I never was able to do. I have always been soooo into music and music is really the power that pulled me together through all the shit! My advice to those just going through a break up is to jam out some music that relates to what you are going through. I was never a fan of John Mayer but after my break up I went to Denver to visit family and my cousin took me to his concert to which I DID NOT care for (but it was in red rocks) but I did it any way and let me tell you.... it was life changing to hear that music. so much of it was music I could relate too and has really kept me together. Today I find my self comfortable. Im not sad and im not really happy.... im just comfortable. The fucked up thing is I have dreams about my ex 5 out of 7 days of the week. those are the hardest mornings to get up. In the dreams its like we never broke up... its like its another day with the girl that I was with for 6 long years. It's so weird.... its gotten to the point where in my dream I recognize its a dream but I go on with it. In my dream last night my gf was resting her head on my chest like she use to do and the lights were out and we had a long talk... toward the end I told her "I know this is a dream and I know I'm about to wake up, I'm just glad I can spend this time with you just to talk" she replied "What are you talking about?" then BOOM I blinked my eyes awake and it was 6am. Of course I couldn't go back to bed but at the same time I didn't really want to in fear of continuing the dream. My mom just told me she had dinner with my ex about 4 weeks ago and told me my ex was crying because she felt she wasn't going to be able to be a part of the family any more and have those long talks with my mom like she used to. She gave my mom a box full of letters that I gave back to her the day we broke up (my ex met my mom cause it was her last day in town before heading to another city for college.) She said she was going to get ride of them but rather I have them back. I haven't said a word to the ex (same vice versa) for 5 months and don't plan to what so ever. I have been on the hunt for a new lady for all 5 months and I have learned so much about finding them. I would get numbers from the bars, clubs and so forth but never called them back... I just didn't care too. I really stopped and thought to my self "Do I really want a bar chick?" and in the end I come up with the same answer... no. It sucks cause Im in school with 0 hotties in my class and all the hotties are taken everywhere I go. Im giving it time because I know it will come around but I just felt I had to get this all out to OT. Thanks for hearing me out fellas and ladies. Cliffs: All That shit by you.