"5 Month Rule" for Living Together/Getting Engaged?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Elphaba, Sep 11, 2008.

  1. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    I was having lunch w/ some coworkers today and the conversation went like this:

    Coworker#1 brings up her sons recent engagement. Coworker#2 adds, "Well, you know, it has been 5 months..." Coworker#1 say something like, "Oh yeah, you're right" and they both nod knowingly. I asked Coworker#2 what he meant and he says, "They've been living together for 5 months, so its kinda the rule to get engaged then..." I said that I had never heard of this and that I've been living with the bf for ~9 months. He then proceeds to list like, 5 or 6 couples he knows that have "followed this rule" and kinda gives me the "poor you" look. Fortunately Coworker#3 (a very well respected staff member) chimes in with, "What about me and my bf? We've been living together 32 years..."

    That kinda put a stop to that part of the conversation, but I'm still a little confused. I thought I was well versed on relationship stereotypes/myths, but this one is new to me. I think its bullshit, but I was wondering if anyone else heard this or any variation there of?
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Weird. I have NEVER heard that before. Shit, my bf and I have been living together for 2 months (after dating 2 years prior) and I don't even see engagement in our picture for months if not over a year :dunno:
     
  3. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :rolleyes: omg... all that talk is complete bullshit.

    seriously... why do people agree with this shit? do whatever makes you and the SO comfortable.
     
  4. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    probably just something he made up on the spot.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I used to have a theory a few years ago that a lot of my friends adopted (and I'm sure spread around) I called "the 8 Month Lump."

    Basically the 8th month of dating was when the whole euphoric honeymoon phase feelings finally started to fade a little and you got to know the real person, and sometimes that freaks people out and makes them dump because they feel if things aren't always new and fresh they are "failing."
     
  6. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    My brother has been living with his girlfriend for 10 years and hasn't got married and I don't think they ever will. :dunno:

    I don't forsee me getting married again for a LONG time, and even then we'll probably have to date/live together for a LOOOOONG fucking time.
     
  7. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    My "honeymoon" phase ends at 3 months. That is normally when I begin to think rationally and I am able to say "Wow this girl is not the right one" and dump her.
     
  8. fray

    fray New Member

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    We've been living together for 1.5 years and not engaged.
     
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    That rule is bullshit because I have never heard of it before and I am the authoritative source on this stuff.

    Now I will give you a good reason why that rule is bullshit:

    5 months isnt enough time to experience a full spectrum of seasons living with that person. What if u move in in September and get engaged in February (5 months later)? You will only have lived with that person during the cold months. What if July comes and you're planning this wedding or are already married or whatever and THEN you find out that you're living with some hippie who doesn't like the A/C on but you are one of those people who are always a hot sweaty mess (like me) and need the A/C on freezing all summer long. FUNDAMENTAL INCOMPATIBILITY.

    I had a similar issue durng my 3.5 year relationship with an Indian woman. Indians have fucking ridiculous heat tolerance and me with my fast metabolism and high caloric intake was always hot and sweating. Solution: A/C on. Girl wears long sleeves if she gets cold. The opposite doesnt work. I cant do anything if i am too hot. Taking off clothes doesnt work and isnt pactical (what if company is over?).

    In conclusion, the 5 month rule is retarded bullshit and strategically unsound. It doesnt surprise me that idiots would follow it. :big grin: In fact, I would go so far as to say you could use it as a disqualification: anyone who believes it should be followed is dumb and disqualified from dating you :rofl:
     
  10. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    Never heard that before?
     
  11. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Fucking falconer, you never let me down. :bowrofl:

    You've got the thesis, introductory paragraph, supporting paragraphs and conclusion. Doin your thing answerin posts like they're research papers. :bowrofl:
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    as i recall the most recent data is that some people simply do not find that feeling ever (call it neurological setup A).

    then, some people (setup B) do what you say, and find it, and then lose it, and convert to "long-term" or "real" << :rofl: love, also known (hilariously) as "getting past" the "lust phase" (as if that's something you would ever want to "get past").

    lastly, some people find that feeling (setup C) and then experience it continuallly with the same person, indefinitely, repeatedly.

    what i found amusing about this study (it was in the NYT i think or NYT magazine) was that the scientists phrased their conclusions about setup C with surprise, as if it had been against the rules: "the weird thing was that there are people who appear to genuinely fall in love over and over w each other."

    no!

    really!??

    but... but... but my jaded InsecureWiminz magazine, told me that the "giddy" feeling converts into a placid blandness after X weeks!

    at any rate, i would agree it probably ranges between 3 and 8 months, very often, for lots of people.
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2008
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I was thinking of you when I wrote "in conlusion." I'm glad you enjoyed it :rofl:
     
  14. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

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    never heard of it
     
  15. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    :love:
     
  16. Fish Taco

    Fish Taco Ass Man

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    A+ rofl
     
  17. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    I have no idea why it was even mentioned...especially b/c they both knew about Coworker#3's situation (living together unmarried for 32 yrs). It was rude and rediculous at the same time.

    I feel zero pressure to get engaged to the bf at this time, I did mention it to him when I got home just for fun :mamoru:
     
  18. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    Ah Falconer. Thanks for putting a bullshit theory in bullshit context :rofl:
     
  19. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    Oh, and for the record, Coworker#1 has apparently had a series of unsuccessful marriages (3?) and is now single in her late 50's. Coworker#2 is a busybody gay dude who, while in a long term relationship at the moment, seems to have a little chip on his shoulder about not being able to actually get married at all (a wee bit justified, but he's def. hostile)...
    I guess it makes sense that they'd come up with shit like this...
     
  20. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Am I the only one who took falconer's post seriously? Heat compatibility is pretty important to me.

    oh and +1 on the 5 mo's thing is bullshit
     
  21. AgGoNy

    AgGoNy Active Member

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    .
     
  22. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    I took him seriously for the general point he was making: 5 months of living with someone isnt nearly long enough to see if your compatable with them (including AC preferences), its just that he presented it in an amusing way. Things can be funny AND relevant at the same time...
     
  23. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    after reading the original post, i was going to say the exact same thing about living together through all the seasons (though not with the examples...:mamoru:)

    never ever heard of any sort of "rule" about length of time living together and getting engaged. thats rediculous
     
  24. timberwolf

    timberwolf New Member

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    Yeah, that's totally bullshit.
    Been with my current gf for just over 10 years. We also didn't move in together until after 3 years.

    :rofl:

    I go through something similar with my gf. She also has a much higher heat tolerance than I do but in cooler weather, she has a sweater on where I can still be just in shorts and a t shirt. Still not really a dealbreaker.
     
  25. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    :h5:

    I bet it's cuz of your bodybuilder diet, right?

    I wear t-shirts outside (comfortably) until it's like below 50. People look at me like I'm crazy, and then when they see my wet armpits (cuz I'm still hot) they think I'm a mutant.
     

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