35 things i learnt from Porn...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Wrigley, Feb 9, 2010.

  1. Wrigley

    Wrigley New Member

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    1. Women wear high heels to bed.
    2. Men are always rock hard and ready to go.
    3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
    4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
    5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
    6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
    7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
    8. Women always orgasm when men do.
    9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
    10. All women are noisy sl**s!
    11. People in the 70's couldn't f*** unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
    12. Those tits are real.
    13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
    14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
    15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
    16. Double penetration makes women smile.
    17. Asian men don't exist.
    18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't have even the slightest problem with you jamming your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
    19. There's a plot.
    20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
    21. Nurses regularly suck patient's cocks.
    22. Men always pull out.
    23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before ****ing the both of you.
    24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
    25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
    26. Assholes are clean.
    27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
    28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trouser and find a cock there.
    29. Men don't have to beg.
    30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
    31. Every guy has a penis as big as peter north.
    32. Women dont have pubic hair no matter how old they are.
    33. Women really don't mind being picked up off the street and then f***ed in a moving van.
    34. Any girl with pigtails is a teen.
    35. Any other girl is a MILF.


    Feel free to add to the list
     
  2. JOJ

    JOJ New Member

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    :bowrofl: @ 4, 18 and 25
     
  3. DaFreak963

    DaFreak963 New Member

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    i kinda want to watch some porn now
     
  4. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    3 & 17 :bowrofl:
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2010
  6. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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  7. Toxica

    Toxica New Member

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    I was picturing the Kool-Aid guy on number 14.
     
  8. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

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    I was picturing the Captain Morgan guy on number 30.

    Edit: I googled the captain morgan guy, not exactly what I was thinking of, doesn't fit #30 as well, but whateva :big grin:.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2010
  9. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

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    This is the place
    :rofl:
     
  10. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    34 & 35 :rofl:
     
  11. Thelonius

    Thelonius New Member

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    All true in my current situation :bowdown:
     
  12. Kyoko

    Kyoko New Member

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    Spitting on your dick is the only prepwork required for some anal raw-doggin'.
     
  13. kopetzki

    kopetzki Banned

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    :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:

    thats not porn, thats the real world
     
  14. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    I LOLed SOOOO much reading this!! thanks :)
     
  15. Bodhi

    Bodhi My crotch is red .. my lambos blue .. and ill be g

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    tell ya one thing i learned from porn ....

    there is no such thing as a hot asian lesbian :o(
     
  16. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    One thing you didn't "learnt" is english :)

    But most of these are true!!
     
  17. FlakBait

    FlakBait New Member

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  18. CrackityJones

    CrackityJones OT Supporter

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    :rofl::rofl:
     
  19. Holliday

    Holliday New Member

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    wrong
     
  20. Osiris^

    Osiris^ Creepy as fuck son OT Supporter

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    :rofl:
     
  21. lrochat

    lrochat New Member

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    :rofl:
     
  22. XxvODvxX

    XxvODvxX New Member

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    Copy & Paste.... totally sending this out :bowrofl:
     
  23. Mitchj

    Mitchj OT Supporter

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  24. Incubusalec

    Incubusalec New Member

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  25. RichieHemingway

    RichieHemingway New Member

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    It's the storyline that makes porn so good.
     

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