SRS 3 years on the pain is still there

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by zameil, Feb 6, 2010.

  1. zameil

    zameil OT Supporter

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    I've been separated 3 years from the woman I love. We haven't had any contact until last week when I wanted a bit of advice from her regarding my daughter.

    Bottom line is the issue with my daughter sorted itself out. I told my ex this via text. Anyway she won't stop sending me texts so I told her that she needs to make a decision, either stop sending me messages or send messages with a view to reconciliation.
    On one hand she says shes married (I know its on the rocks, has been for a while) and not interested then she sends me messages like "I'll see you sooner than you think".

    I just wanted some input and when I realized that it was getting personal I told her that I was going to back off.

    I thought I was through this but it seems I'm not.

    So is there anyone out there gone through long term separation and if so how long did it take for the pain to stop?
     
  2. VA197

    VA197 New Member

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    Block her texts. She is using you for the 'fallback guy'because her marriage is shaky and she needs the self-esteem boost.

    Do not contact her again. Only send necessary messages through your daughter, since she can't handle a platonic relationship.
     
  3. zameil

    zameil OT Supporter

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    Thats just it, I don't want a platonic relationship with her. I either want to sort it out with her or have no contact at all.
    I can't deal on a platonic level with her. Thanks for your input tho.
     
  4. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    you have a daughter, you can't "have no contact at all"

    if she doesn't want to patch it up, there's nothing you can do. personally, i'd limit contact as much as possible and get on with finding someone else.
     
  5. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    I wish girls could understand what they do to us to get to to this level.

    Q: "Why cant we be friends?"

    A: "Because you're too adorable, too beautiful, and we get along too well for me to not think about how I want something more from you."

    Dont be so attractive and we wouldn't have these problems. :mamoru:

    As for your original post, I dont think the pain of losing love will ever end. You simply think about it less over time.
     
  6. zameil

    zameil OT Supporter

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    Fuckin A man
     
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    The pain is only there because you are prolonging it. This is so because you are nothing more then a fish on her line, woman try to have as many fishes as possible. Smart ones break themselves free, stupid ones keep prolonging their misery, because they are blinded by the lure of love. So in other words you have to be hard on yourself and come to the knowledge that what you are doing is stupid. This is not a nice conclusion because you wholeheartedly love this woman. Think about the situation, while she has moved on and has re-married, you are wallowing in misery. This because you have used your heart to make a decision , where you should have let your head make a rational decision, namely that this woman is bad news for your life. If a woman decides to stop loving you, you can only make rational decisions for your life. Namely that its over and that you have to move on with your life. Its like a cactus, how many times do you need to experience pain from slamming your hand against it? For a cactus you would do it one time, and you'd have enough, but this woman is hurting you over and over again but you just keep on going.

    These are 'sick situations' , if a tree branch is diseased it needs to be cut off, before it poisons the entire tree. The longer you prolong it, the more miserable its going to be, and moreover she's not gonna change into someone better.

    Honestly, if you were smart, you'd remarry someone nice who really loves you while you still have the chance.
     
  8. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    this
     
  9. zameil

    zameil OT Supporter

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    Thanks guys
     
  10. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I've never let go of anything that didn't have claw marks all over it.

    What I mean by that is, it's really difficult for me to let go of things that I love/enjoy. Sometimes I really need to let go of them but very often it's just too difficult for me so I try to keep holding on to them. It doesn't usually work out and I end up just making myself miserable.
     

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