3 years finally coming to a head...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by radfad88, May 14, 2007.

  1. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    i'm going to try and sum this story up as condensed as possible and if you guys want more info to help out just ask (I have the convo still pulled up as it was just a couple of hours ago)



    I have been head over heals in love with my ex bf for three long years. we broke up after only a few months, but have always kept in close touch (talk just about everyday). Also, there have been countless times that he's come over to my house or we've hung out that he's kissed me, etc. The chemistry between us is something we've always agreed on (it's hot, hot, hot). This entire time, I have never come forward with my true feelings about him... I've always kept the true nature of them held back behind out friendship/physical attraction.

    About a year ago, he got a girlfriend named Angela. He's been faithful to her this whole time. There have been a couple of times that we were together, that it almost crossed the line, but it didn't. He and Angela have had the most drama-filled, unhappy relationship I've ever seen up close, and I'm usually the one he comes to about it all (still hiding my true feelings about things, trying to be a good friend). He says he's obviously unhappy, but afraid to leave because he does care about her and is scared to lose what has become normal to him now. I have not encouraged him to break up with her, I usually try to help him find ways to make things work.

    During this time I also became closer to Angela (we went to the same highschool and go to the same college, etc.) I really do enjoy her friendship, but obviously my friendship with him is a lot stronger.

    The last 2 months or so things have gotten a whole lot worse for them and I hear about it every step of the way. Recently I also feel like he's been hinting at his feelings for me, but I need to be sure I'm not reading too far into it. Tonight while we were talking he told me that he "still has so much sexual attraction toward me" and he asked me "what that means". I told him that we've always had that chemistry (he agreed) and that it probably means nothing if it's just sexual attraction. He's told me that he doesn't have the same feeling with Angela (again he usually refers to this as a 'sexual attraction/intensity' and has never mentioned other feelings).

    Everything in my body and mind wants to tell him exactly how I feel (that even when I'm with another person I can't picture anyone else but him, that I am hugely sexually attracted to him but also that I am very very much in love with him, and that it's obvious to me and others that he and Angela have been beating a dead horse for quite sometime now). I've tried to be such a good friend to him and not to let my feelings interfere with my advice/help, but I sort of feel like things are finally coming to a head. I don't want to interfere with his decision with Angela, I respect their relationship (as rocky and shaky as it is, they have one).

    After talking to him online about this tonight, he asked if he could call me so we could talk on the phone and when he did he didn't really say anything important (just smalltalk that ended with going to sleep). I could have said somthing on the phone but I was sort of hoping he would. I just need some help/general advice about all this because my head is going in circles.



    cliffs: ex bf and new gf on the rocks, he tells me he's still sexually attracted to me, I want to tell him my true feelings but am scared to mess things up
     
  2. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    i dont think u should get in the way of his current relationship. At least wait for that to come to an end since you are friends with both of them. There is no reason for u to get completely in the middle of what is going on.
     
  3. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    that's the struggle... i've always respected relationships.. and i dont really want to confuse the situation even more for him by adding to it... but my gut keeps telling me he might feel the same way and (like me) doesn't want to ruin anything by saying something.

    it was really strange that he said all that, then asked if he could call me, and once he was on the phone just talked about trivial stuff until it was time to get off the phone... :dunno:
     
  4. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    i think you should wait to see what happens with his current relationship before getting involved.
     
  5. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    tahts a tricky situation i guess ether wait and c wat happens or follow ur heart me personaly id follow my heart keep us posted on wat happens
     
  6. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    its not YOUR job to "respect" his relationship. its HIS job.

    your job is to be yourself, and to treat this person the way you truly want to.
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Couple of things to think about.

    Why did you guys break up in the first place?

    Have you been in any other relationships, been dating anyone in the past 2 years?

    And to be blunt...it kinda sounds like you may have been pining away for him the last 3 years...don't you think something would have happened before now?

    Seriously, I think you may be wasting your time. You guys broke up after just a few months, yet you love him?

    You need to get over him. Otherwise, how long are you going to be waiting around for him, for a "what could be" instead of going out and pursuing a "what CAN be"?
     
  8. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    I've dated lots of people in the past 2 years (10+ to be honest), including a relationship for 7 months. I know what "can be" and honestly, it's just nothing compared to him...

    We broke up because I was 16 (he was 19) and when things got sort of serious, I freaked out, we broke up and stayed friends. I wanted to date people and be a teenager, and I did. I think my feelings have actually grown a lot... it wasn't like "love at first sight" kinda thing... I feel like I've sort of fell into love with him. I know him better than anyone, he's one of my bestfriends (not my only one though, I still have very close gfs and stuff too).

    I don't want to waste my time... but things have just grown so much inside of me that I'm at the point that I feel like I'm gonna explode if I don't do something about it soon.

    I do agree though, his relationship with Angela is not something I want to intrude on... I need to wait this whole thing out I guess:dunno:
     

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