3 miles in 18 minutes (running), to keep me from going completely apeshit. This is the second time I've done this, and it helps me handle it when things go really bad, like today. I'm 16, 17 in about 4 days. I went home with my friend after track today, and got a call from my parents at about 9:30 (dad was supposed to come get me at 10) saying they had a letter from governors scholars. Governors scholars is a kentucky program where high school students the summer after junior year spend five weeks at a participating kentucky college. It basically garuntees a free ride anywhere in state. I was pretty sure I would be accepted, because I have great test scores and I've been constantly involved in extra-cirricular activites all through high school. Wrong. I got rejected, and I honestly am not sure why. I've worked my ass off, I'm considered easily one of the smartest people in my high school class, and this was my one way to pay for college. So thats fucked. Great. You see, my family as a whole is pulling in about 50k a year total, a large portion of it from a frame shop we own in crestwood, just keeping minimum payments down on shit. I just found out today we are approximately 120k in debt. By profession, my father is a forensic chemist, but he loves framing, and has become somewhat prominent in the local industry. My dad works as an analyst at an environmental firm across the river, making about 30k a year plus overtime. We dont get health insurance from it, and my parents are old and unhealthy (mom smokes) so they pay out the ass from a second rate insurer for heath insurance. My dad gets up at 4:30 or 5 in the morning, goes to his day job, works until 2 or so, goes to the shop, and stays there until 6. Then goes back to his day job to finsih other shit, because that place is going down the hole and not enough people are there to get the work done. Hes pretty much working 16 hour days right now. The job market here for what he does is absolutely worthless, he cant find a job for anything. A couple of weeks ago he traveled to savannah georgia for a job interview, which went well, and we've been waiting on a call from them. We expected much better pay, and the call has finally came. Theyre offering about 43k, plus overtime and much better benefits. What it comes out to is about the same, except my dad will be living in georgia while my mother and I live here so I can finish up high school where I am. In other words, its not worth it at all. Theres a chance he'll get offered more, but I dont know. So now theres two things, but oh theres more. My mother has a slightly different work day than my dad. She gets up at about 8, makes it to the shop at 10. Sits around watching TV and playing mah-jong unless a customer shows up. Once my dad gets there around 2, she takes a 2 hour lunch break. Gets back, generally plays more mah-jong. In other words, she doesnt do jack. I still love her, shes been there for me many times, but she is not helping a thing. She refuses to get a job. Why? because she cant work with other people. She is all important, and just kind of marches to the beat of her own drum. People generally cant stand her, because shes bossy but doesnt do a thing herself.. this isn't an angsty biased teenage point of view either... this has happened time and time again. Its why she left her last job, because nobody could stand her and someone finally said something about it. That was probably 10 years ago, possibly not quite that long. The thing is though, after I came downstairs to just kind of deal with all of this, my parents started yelling. My dad basically told her what I just said, and she doesnt take too well to being told her own faults. I don't know exactly what transpired; I stayed downstairs, but shes not here now. She took her car and left. Essentially, 3 things fucked up hardcore in my life, all in the course of about an hour. I dont know what the hell I'm going to do now. I cant stand being the man without a plan. I've still got fallback options, but the fact that I didnt make this has hit me like a ton of bricks.. I thought if anyone deserved it it was me. That coupled with the fact that my whole family is money fucked plus my parents have finally got into this has just totally destroyed me.