27 yo virgin first date story, but no idea what happens next

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by IceGod, Jul 22, 2007.

  1. IceGod

    IceGod New Member

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    Some background info in this thread:
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3320466

    Figured I'd make a new thread since this is kind of a different subject and got a lot longer than I thought it would. This might be boring to a lot of people but this is all new and exciting to me :big grin:

    So I went to another dance class today with that girl I met the night before, just me and her. I had noticed she had a wedding ring on which confused me since she seemed into me, I figured it was best to wait and feel things out rather than ask about it though. But until I found out I was just gonna treat her as a friend. We had a good time, at one point in the dance she felt my arm muscle and was all impressed by it, that's never happened before, nice ego boost for me, I just made the :hsugh: face and laughed. Afterwards I asked her if she wanted to grab some food, she said she'd make me something and invited me back to her place. We get back to her place and it's very small and looks like she lives there by herself so I ask her "Does your husband live here too?". She was kind of taken aback which is sort of what I was intending and then I mentioned seeing her ring and she says "oh I just use that to ward off guys", good news for me :bigthumb:

    We just chilled out and talked for quite a while on various subjects. She's easy to talk to. I got into what I do so she knows I have money, we talked about religious backgrounds etc. She's christian which might be a problem for me depending on how devout she is but I didn't get more into it. Can't exactly ask her what her thoughts on pre-martial sex are without seeming like a perv. She also says she was dating a lot and decided to stop and focus on work and that was the reason for the ring. Then she asked me what I was hoping she wouldn't, when was the last time I was in a relationship :noes:. I sort of thought really fast over my options and ended up saying "its been a while". She presses me and I decide to just lie and say 5 years ago in college, and that I had been moving around a lot (moving around part was true). In hindsight I shouldn't have lied but I panicked, I think I should have teased her for wanting to know and just changed the subject, oh well. I sort of touched on various subjects saying things like "but theres a lot more to say on that so maybe some other time.". She seemed interested and was like "yeah we should do coffee sometime, I want to know about it."

    So after all that she asks if I want to go dancing with her again tonight, I agree but tell her I'm going to go back to my place to shower and then I'll meet her. On my way over there she calls me and tells me she ran into a friend and invites me for coffee. When I get there I told her she looks nice (first complement I've given to her) and that I liked her shirt, turns out she made the shirt herself so that worked out well :) We hung out there and just chatted for about an hour telling interesting stories, lots of laughs etc and it was fun, then her and I headed to the club.

    I had an amazing time dancing, just a lot of laughing and screwing around, we hugged at one point and things were just in general much more touchy feely. I sort of had to force myself to do this as it's not natural for me to be touching people. It felt pretty natural after a while though. She kept saying I'm learning really fast and some people complemented us on our dancing which was cool.

    At the end I gave her a big hug and we said we'd do it again. I just got home and she sent me a text message saying:

    "It was so great hanging out today, XXX. :) write down the steps when you get home if you remember and practice. :) you're awesome. 'night. :)" Wow what an awesome feeling it was reading that, nice to know someone likes you :big grin: I like this girl quite a lot too and shes very attractive to me (maybe 7-8/10)

    I have no idea where to go with it from here though, just flying by the seat of my pants, I hope it happens naturally for the most part. Like maybe I'll be able to tell when a good time to kiss her is or something I dunno :noes: Sure is exciting though!

    Cliffs: Went on my first date ever with a girl and I think it's going well so its all very exciting to me. Don't know how to take it to the next level though.
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2007
  2. IceGod

    IceGod New Member

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    Thanks :big grin:

    That's good advice I think, it's hard though! But I was actually thinking this might happen, old story you hear of the guy never getting any then falling for the first person he meets. I don't want that to happen so I gotta try and remain rational, but I'm definitely experiencing some things I've never felt before so it's sort of throwing me a bit

    Another thing that I just thought of that might be weird is I made a bunch of friends at that dance class which she goes to regularly. Suppose we did get together and then broke up, might be awkward seeing each other at the dance class afterwards and I'd like to continue it. Not sure what to think about that.

    Geezus I feel like I'm in junior high again or somethin... maybe I should send her a card with Yes/NO checkboxes and the question "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" :rofl:
     
  3. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    I know you speak French just like me so I just want to tell you that "advice" is always singular :p I used to make the same mistake :o
    If you want to make it plural, you could say "some pieces of advice".
     
  4. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    you are doing great. keep up the good work.

    when to kiss her: when you want to.
     
  5. IceGod

    IceGod New Member

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    Hrmmm, I guess I can picture that, I've never actually wanted to kiss anyone but I suppose a moment might come up... It'd probably be bad for me to overanalyze though. Would it be weird to ask "can I kiss you?". Only time I've had lips touch my face was in europe when a girl greeted me with a kiss to the cheek :noes:
     
  6. MBomb

    MBomb New Member

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    You've never listened to my advice in the past. My advice has almost always been correct for you. For the love of god please listen to me this time. DO NOT ASK THAT. Just fucking wait for the right moment. You'll know when it is and then just fucking do it.

    Women hate insecure men. Asking a question like that is just horrible.
     
  7. MBomb

    MBomb New Member

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    Yes listen to this guy. Remember how easily you got a date when you tried. Only went out for a couple weeks and are now out with a hot chick who you like? I told you if you just kept putting yourself out there it'd happen. Trust me.
     
  8. IceGod

    IceGod New Member

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    :rofl: Yeah that is what I was thinking pretty much, just have to trust my instincts and not pussy out I guess
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Just keep cool. Don't call her or resort to texting her often. You want to keep a sort of level of mystery still and make her work to get to know you. You need to very soon when you see her next set a date, because waiting to long to actually sk her out would be a big mistake. You don't obviously have to try and have sex on the first date. If you are still nervous about your chest and all you can take it slow, most good girls are fine with that. Feel her out and make sure she's a cool chick, which she probably is. Basically, you set the pace of how far you are willing to go.
     
  10. IceGod

    IceGod New Member

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    Thanks, that is good advice, relaxes me actually.

    We already set a next date, I asked her if she wanted to take another class so we are taking one on wednesday and will probably hang out again after it finishes. Registered as a couple to get a discount in a private lesson :)

    I just replied to her text too, she sent it before I went to bed but I didn't get it till I woke up so I said:

    "Just got your message, nice surprise :) I had a really great time too, best I have had in a while :) Looking forward to hanging out again soon, ttyl XXX"

    Wanted to be ambiguous and just make it friendly pretty much but also hint that I'm interested, hopefully that's how it came across :hsd:
     
  11. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    you ask, but without words. look her in the eyes and move in slow. if shes not willing, she will pull away, and its a lot less awkward and unsexy then stumbling over the words. Same thing with everything. Its just like dancing you move together, you lead, she follows. If she didn't want to dance with you, she wouldn't. Asking a girl in the middle of a dance if she wanted to dance with you would be silly, no?

    she will not think less of you for trying to kiss her, so have no worries. Even if you try to kiss her and its too soon for her, thats fine, be a gentlemen about it and she will respect you. you are a man. men want to kiss girls. men take what they want. Thats part of the dance. You stumbling over awkward conversation is how you ruin it.
    never talk about things you should be conveying physically.
     
  12. dmaestro

    dmaestro New Member

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    :werd:
     
  13. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    the best thing you can do here, is touch her. If you are tense and distant all night, you cant jump into sexy time.

    hug her when you see her, touch her lower back, hands, and other non overtly sexual areas frequently and comfortably.


    do not wait for a written invitation with gold foil calligraphy and perfume. When you want to kiss her, do.
     
  14. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    you NEED to kiss her on this next date if you have any intent on not being her friend forever.

    Most dates should end with a kiss on the second if not the very first date. ( depending ).

    If you scratch this one you're friendzoned forever just fyi.

    Oh, and stop texting so much back n forth... it's really bad trust me. You're having like huge one-its ( which every guy will in his life at some point ) Like Style said make yourself less available or "seem" less available, make her work a little to get to know you.
     
  15. hellyea2650

    hellyea2650 New Member

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    Word.

    She still sees you as a possibility, so don't fuck it up and be friendzoned.
     
  16. IceGod

    IceGod New Member

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    Thanks for all the advice guys.

    Is it really true I HAVE to kiss her on the 2nd date? Surely some people must go slower? Should I just be waiting for an opportunity in the natural course of things or am I meant to be manufacturing some sort of scenario that would lead to a kiss? I mean I guess if things are going well again we will naturally want to be closer to each other and maybe I can just go with that and try to keep up the physical contact etc... I can picture a hug goodbye maybe and then a kiss. I'm thinking like looking into her eyes and then moving in slowly for a light kiss, mouth closed, no tongue. Maybe I can practice on my hand or something :rofl:

    I'm also wondering if I should just tell her I like her but I'm a little hesitant to get involved because of what might happen if it goes bad since we both hang out with the same people and would probably see each other afterwards. See what her thoughts on it are.

    So many questions! :noes:
     
  17. Placebo

    Placebo New Member

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    I stopped reading there. The fact that you are a 27 year old virging tells me that you most likely don't need to worry about making that happen.


    You need to get people in your life that are successful at the things that you want to be successful at. Keep people that are single and good with women around you and pay attention to how they act. Look into some of the information there is out there about dating and reread it. Really try to understand how the dynamics work, not how you think they do.
     
  18. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    lol... I know you said you had a long story of how you ended up in this 27 year old noob state, but im assuming that you made it through the first 27 years of your life with your balls intact. embrace them.

    stop thinking so much. its NOT awkward. kissing girls and getting them naked is what men like to do. everyone knows that.

    :rofl: trust me, no one is going to be shocked to find out that after two dates you tried to kiss her, and at 27, people understand sometimes things just don't work out and there are no hard feelings.

    what you SHOULD be afraid of is being a coward. What you don't want to have happen is for her to get tired of waiting around for you to man up. Next thing you know it WILL be awkward between you and the mutual friends since they will be helpfully setting you up on blind dates with their gay guy friends.


    you have been doing great so far. you manned up at the club, you manned up at dance lessons, now just take it one more step further and man up on your couch. I know you are just stressing over it here, and when it comes down to it, you are going to do the right thing and take the big step.

    good luck.


    lol.. and its quite likely that she is gonna try to slip you the tongue, so if that happens, don't freak out :rofl:
     
  19. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    NO. NO. NO.

    "nothing risked, nothing gained"

    you do know all these little heart to hearts you want to have with her is just your inner coward trying to get you to take shortcuts to avoid you having to put yourself out there. Everyone has an inner coward, and im not berating you for having these thoughts. I want you to understand where the urge to do these things come from. When you understand its just your fear talking, its easier to not get bogged down over analyzing and just will yourself through it.
     
  20. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    No worries. This guy is a born pimp. Hes been in the game a few weeks and hes already killing it. :bigthumb:
     
  21. IceGod

    IceGod New Member

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    Good tips guys. :bigthumb:

    Now that I think about it you are right, just need to man up, all the over-analyzing is just me being afraid of actually doing it, and it ends up never happening. The first time I went to that club I did the same thing, all these excuses kept popping up in my head. Eventually I just said fuck this, GO DO IT, and literally forced myself to do it step by step. Worst that happens is I move in for a kiss, she backs away, and we just be friends.

    I might not be a good kisser or good at sex or all this other shit but the only way I'm gonna get good is to put myself in these situations and learn from them.
     
  22. IceGod

    IceGod New Member

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    Hrm, I really don't get the feeling she was lying but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to find out. Guess I'd have to find out her last name first though...

    This is a lot more stressful than I thought it would be, it's fucking up my sleep and I can't seem to relax. It's just hard to get my mind off her and I want to be around her so I'm all kind of tensed up. I'm guessing I've suppressed these feelings for so long it's like I've been dead inside and I'm coming alive again and it's painful. Like when your leg falls asleep and you start getting the feeling back... Never actually realized how lonely I was I suppose :dunno:

    Actually another friend of mine was kind of the same and had a similar thing as me as far as scientology goes etc. When he finally started dating he just kept falling in love with seemingly every girl he met. One minute he'd be on this massive high because it seemed like it was going well and then it would fall apart and he was crushed. He wrecked his car because he was day dreaming about some girl who lived 2000 miles away (which obviously didn't work out). In the end he converted to christianity for the first girl who had sex with him and married her. Now he's a totally different person, doesn't swear, completely different interests, etc.

    I can kind of understand that, this is powerful stuff :noes: I don't think I could ever get as carried away as he did though...
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2007
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :bowrofl::wavey:

    My SO knows I have a fake wedding ring that I wear certain times and places to ward off guys :big grin: I call it "my repellent."
     
  24. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    I'm sure you take it off as soon as you become worried when men aren't approaching you no more :p
     
  25. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    :rofl: at thinking the guys you are really trying to get rid of a. notice or b. give a shit.
     

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