SRS 23 dating an 18 year old

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by lolerskates, Nov 11, 2006.

  1. lolerskates

    lolerskates New Member

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    We have been going out for about 3 weeks now.
    Heres the deal, I've been taking things slow with her so far but I'm stepping it up now. Well we were talking the other night about past relationships. She said she has only slept with one guy and she feels it was a big mistake because they had been going out for almost a year and after they started sleeping together the guy turned into a dick.

    So she is not wanting to move to fast for fear that if I sleep with her the same thing will happen. I'm willing to wait a little while (1-2 months) but I'm worried that this is only gonna get worst as we get more serious. Like 1 week into a relationship and you break up then no biggie, but a 4-5 month relationship is a little different to worry about things going south. I'm worried that a few months into it she is even more worried about having sex because she thinks I'll turn into a dick.

    Basiclly the longer I wait the harder it is gonna be to make happen.
    Anyone have any thoughts / advise on this one?
     
  2. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Give it a month, then dump her because sex is important to a relationship.
     
  3. lolerskates

    lolerskates New Member

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    I'll give it more than a month, I work all the time so we don't get to see each other but twice a week
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    As a 22 year old who just got dumped by an 18 year old for no apparent reason, please listen to what I have to say. Be prepared to notice a difference in maturity levels after a few weeks.

    And if anyone wants to see how she dumped me, check my xanga. http://www.xanga.com/MattThom01
     
  5. lolerskates

    lolerskates New Member

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    My last relationship I was 21 and I fucked a 17yr old then we ended up going out for like 8 months. big difference in maturity levels there. But this girl so far seems to be pretty mature as far as the relationship goes, I mean her and her friends are typical high shcool girls "like omg what ever" lol
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    fair enough, just keep in mind, it could come up.
     
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2006
  7. Jonari

    Jonari Well-Known Member

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    Matt, I'll agree with you 110% on how much of a difference there is in maturity level. My gf just turned 27 (Nov 5) and I'm 21. I never realized that how different our lives can be, even though just 6 yrs differnet.

    I want to go out & party, but my gf has responsibilities such as full time work, full time school. However, it doesn't bother me since I love my gf and am willing to give up partying with her - but you're definetly right. If you're dating somebody that is atleast 3-4 yrs older/younger than you, it can be hard to make a relationship work.

    Sorry about your gf, but I think you deserve a real woman that'll respect you & not break up with you via AIM. :hs:
     
  8. DSAzeppelin

    DSAzeppelin New Member

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    I personally think that you should respect her view on sex...

    so if you are willing to take it slow and wait a month or two then that's great...if she isn't willing to comply to your needs physically, then let her go.

    just don't try to force it upon her.
     
  9. 2500

    2500 Guest

    from reading your blog thing, it sounds like she only needed 2 weeks to realize she didn't want to be with you. and you working was an easy out. trust me, she wasn't into you. people who just want to be friends, and who care, but feel there isn't time, don't say things like "well, your scrawny."

    plus, what is this your first GF ever? you say its after only 2 weeks, but your angry and upset, like it was a 5 years relationship. maybe you liked her, but c'mon man, move on already. i'm 24 and dating a 17 year old, so, age isn't always the reason. its you. my relationship couldn't be better <knock on wood> and there is more of an age difference than you. my SO also worked alot, and i barely saw him, but, we didn't break up, we lived with it. we knew working was important for our future, and our needs now, so we deal with it cuz its for a good purpose and we know it won't be like this forever. we didn't just say "oh well, 40 hours a week of work, bye, have a nice life." she wasn't into you, so, try not to dwell on this too much.
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    LOL, no it wasn't my first relationship ever, but I felt led on, with the sex stuff. It was two weeks after becoming officially exclusive, but more like 2 months before that of kinda seeing each other but not really knowing what it was. And I was venting at the time I wrote that.

    But I really am scrawny. 5-6 and 83 pounds or so.
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    "you're a little scrawny man"

    :eek5:

    you were dating a bad person
     
  12. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    lol, not really. I mean, I am scrawny. She always said/meant it affectionately.
     
  13. 2500

    2500 Guest

    haha, my thoughts exactly, only hes blinded and says "well i am scrawny."

    yeah, maybe you are, but if your GF gains a lil weight, are you gonna "affectionatley" call her a heffer?
     
  14. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    :rofl::bowdown: This is a good counterpoint, however I don't mind being called scrawny by the people that I have dated. I'm not not as scrawny as Matt though, I'm 5'8" and like 130.
     
  15. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Ha ha, no. Have a little self respect.
     
  16. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    anyways, since this thread isn't about me....any updates from the OP?
     
  17. lolerskates

    lolerskates New Member

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    Yeah I see what your saying, I am looking to settle down, and she really hasn't got out to much but she wants to work towards a serious relationship, so that much we are on the same page with. But at the same time we both still want to go out and have fun. So usually we hang out together one night on the weekend, and the other night we will just hang out with friends. That has seemed to work out well so far, but I've seen that the past couple weekends on our night out with our friends she tends to end up where I'm at. I guess even though she says she wants to have a night out with her friends she would rather be with me, I told her eaither way I'm good but I think she is worried about being to clingy. Last night I went out with my friends, I called my buddy who is also her cousin, he was at her house. I asked him where she was and he said she fell asleep next to the phone incase I called (awww). What I don't get is I invited her to go with us last night and she said no she was just gonna sit at home. Anyways things are going good, I just need to make more time for her, we only see each other about twice a week.
     
  18. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    I'm afraid that you primarily see this girl as a sex object. I think that she is more mature than you and she would be best off to end the relationship.
     
  19. lolerskates

    lolerskates New Member

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    I think you just have low testosterone or something, I don't see her as just a sex object. If all I wanted was sex then I wouldn't have asked the girl out I would just call a fuck buddy and get strait to the point. It's the more we are together and the closer we get the more I want to move to this part of the relationship. See maybe you view sex as not being important, I don't. Every relationship I go into I go into with the mindset that this could be the one I spend the rest of my life with. Otherwise I wouldn't bother with dating them in the first place. If I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with someone then I plan on sleeping with them quite oftenly, it just part of a relationship, a part where you and your partner please each other. For you to say what you said above with out knowing me takes a lot of balls. Sure ok I'll break up with her, then the next guy can start tring to force her to sleep with him the first week they are going out, or get her wasted so she won't know whats going on, or maybe he will beat her, or even rape her. Maybe he will just say he loves her in effort to get her in bed. God damn I'm such a horible person for worrying about her feelings, I'm such a waste of life.
     
  20. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Maybe stop dating high schoolers when you're out of university?
     
  21. lolerskates

    lolerskates New Member

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    I thought about that, the wierd part is when I was in my late teens I was dating girls that were 22-26 years old. I'm not sure why the flip flop but I have had longer relationships with younger girls and I actually wastn't looking when this one walked into my life but we hit it off so here we are.
     

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