GUN 22 Ways To Be a Good Liberal Democrat v.tongue in cheek jokes

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Slick26, Dec 3, 2007.

  1. Slick26

    Slick26 Gun|Bike|Cigar|PS3|Beer |Whisky|Night Crew

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    Yes, this was a chain email, :hsugh:, but I thought it was sorta funny, and relatively true. And BTW, I've voted both ways.


    22 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL DEMOCRAT

    1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

    2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

    3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

    4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

    5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by documented cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

    6 You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

    7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

    8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

    9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

    10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

    11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

    12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

    13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

    14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.

    15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

    16 You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

    17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

    18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

    19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

    20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese government is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

    21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

    22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

    Ready to vote???
     
  2. Soybomb

    Soybomb New Member

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    You wouldn't believe the number of people that are NRA members but won't join the aclu.
     
  3. thedude11

    thedude11 New Member

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  4. Paul Revere

    Paul Revere OT Supporter

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    9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

    12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

    19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

    22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

    :rofl:
     
  5. Paul Revere

    Paul Revere OT Supporter

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    how about how people are now calling their husband/wife their "partner" instead of their "wife" or my "husband" because its less gender oriented
     
  6. thedude11

    thedude11 New Member

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    :wtf:

    I call my girlfriend "my woman"... :mamoru:
     
  7. Slick26

    Slick26 Gun|Bike|Cigar|PS3|Beer |Whisky|Night Crew

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    But you aren't lobbying everyone else in the world to do the same just because calling your girlfriend your "girlfriend" offends you.
     
  8. Keesh

    Keesh New Member

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    fixed for what you should be calling her :run:
     
  9. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    angrywhiteprotestantmale.txt?
     
  10. [DWI]

    [DWI] Master of Nothing

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    :rofl: when people do that it puts me in a "stabby" mood.
     
  11. Paul Revere

    Paul Revere OT Supporter

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    one of my professors said something like that and i caught my ear

    prof: yeah, my partner and i blah blah blah
    me: :confused: "partner"?
    prof: yeah, i'm married.
    me: uhh, then why dont you just say "wife"
    prof: because "partner" is more open

    :uh: yes, because equal rights extends to changing vernacular to make everyone happy
     
  12. Keesh

    Keesh New Member

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    partner = business
    spouse/wife/husband = marriage
     
  13. Paul Revere

    Paul Revere OT Supporter

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    :werd: i dont give a shit about making people comfortable
     
  14. KIDRR

    KIDRR Duck dog>* OT Supporter

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    Nice, I reposted on myspace. Should piss off a great deal of liberals :mamoru:
     
  15. PanzerAce

    PanzerAce Active Member

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    I deleted my myspace a couple of months ago. does anyone really use that shit anymore?
     
  16. Keesh

    Keesh New Member

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    I never had one :dunno:
     
  17. Slick26

    Slick26 Gun|Bike|Cigar|PS3|Beer |Whisky|Night Crew

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    I sign into mine like once a month nowadays. I got sick of it.
    And I'm married. What am I gonna do, try to meet 16 yr old myspace whoooores?
    Oh wait.
     
  18. [DWI]

    [DWI] Master of Nothing

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    I sign in every once in a while too, I used it more when my buddy was overseas and we communicated that way, but now its just talking to people I probably wouldn't otherwise be in contact with that much.
     

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