SRS 2 Time felon wants custody v. RAAANNTT

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by SBIArn, Feb 9, 2010.

  1. SBIArn

    SBIArn OT Supporter

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    Quick backstory:

    My brother is a useless druggie that has a long criminal record of theft and other random shit. He gets caught finally and put into prison for a couple of years. He gets out Nov 2007. He swears to me that he has learned his lesson. I , like an idiot, believe him. I tell him that under a "trial and error" basis he can come live with me. He can relax the first month but in Dec he has to start looking for a job and paying his share of the bills. He agrees.
    He also goes on this "I am ready to be a dad" kick. Mind you, he knocked up a girl before he goes into prison; I find out about my new nephew; I take an active role as aunt. He starts off good.

    Well. The beginning of the new year shows up. My brother shows signs of using again, has a drug dealer of a girlfriend, and still no job. His son's family has restricted us from seeing him because my brother is a dumbass.
    Then my brother decides to move out with his new druggie girl, goes out, and robs her work (she assisted). He stabs 2 of the workers, almost killing one. I get home, found out about the robbery because 9 cop cars are waiting and surrounding my home.

    Fast Forward to present.

    My brother is in prison. He is sentenced to 20 years. I refuse to talk to him. I have rebuilt a trust and relationship with my nephew and his mother's family. I have NOTHING to do with my brother. I get a call from my half sister stating that my brother wants to talk to me because he apparently has "changed". He's getting his GED, going to church, and that he is working on getting an early release date. Using the same shit as he had before, except for now he is going to marry the bitch that helped with the robbery AND he wants full custody of his son.

    I do not agree with this situation. He has been sending letters to his son's mom, trying to gain her "trust". He found out that she is still living at home with her mom and step dad but they are losing their house in June. Now he wants my sister (who isn't allowed near our nephew because she always fights with his mom .. another long story ) to go and get custody of his son and then when he gets out, he wants her to sign over custody to him.

    I absolutely refuse for any of this to happen and I want to know if it is even possible that this can happen? I alerted my nephew's mother about the plans because I felt she needed to know. I feel that my nephew shouldn't be allowed to live with my brother nor my sister because A) My sister's new husband is a "recovering" drug addict (who has fallen off the wagon 2 times this past year) B) My brother is a thief and a drug addict and a 2 time felon.

    Now because I am listed as next of kin (officially since last month) and if anything were to happen I would get sole custody of my nephew, Can my sister really take custody then sign it over to my brother?



    Cliffs:
    My brother is a 2 time felon and druggie, says he is "cured" (in a sense) and is working on an early release date. Wants our sister to nab custody of his son then turn it over to him when he gets out. :ugh:
     
  2. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    That kid is fucked.

    I got nothing good to say about this. I know someone that had a kid in a somewhat similar situation and that kid is fucked for life. He is predestined to be just like his Dad.
     
  3. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    how, exactly? his mother is still in the picture, right? has she done anything wrong? what makes him think she can get custody away from the kid's mother?




    cliffs: your brother is an idiot on many levels.
     
  4. SBIArn

    SBIArn OT Supporter

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    His mom is in the picture. She's not that great either, but I have been helping her get her shit on track, mainly because I don't want my brother or my sister to have anything to do with my nephew. I want my nephew to have a decent chance of growing up with a good head on his shoulders and now grow up in a world of drugs and crime.

    My sister is in some kind of school for law and stuff and she just got done with a course dealing with family law and she thinks she knows it all now. She feels our brother deserves the custody. I mean the dude don't get outta prison (if indeed he gets early release) till 2018. He is an idiot and a waste of human space, imo.
     
  5. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Document the shit out of everything including dates, times, locations and parties involved. Include phone calls, emails, texts - any form of communication. Get as much proof as you can. File it away. Keep documenting as she and/or her hubby fall off the wagon, get into altercations, whatever. Call your sister's hubby's probation officer (?) if you know he's using. If your sister makes an attempt for custody (which is unlikely to succeed if the mother is doing passably well at providing a decent home for her son), you take all that documentation to court to show the judge why it's a bad idea. Other than documenting the best thing you can do is help your nephew's mom keep a stable home and stay on the straight and narrow, so that CPS has no reason to remove your nephew from the home.

    Is this the second time your brother's been in jail for a number of years? If not, don't write your brother off for the rest of his life. I agree, he sounds like a moron, but some people do change after a few years of cooling their heels in a jail cell. That and hitting middle age while there. See how he does when he gets out... if he stays on the straight and narrow, sets up a support network and starts making something of himself, maybe give him one more chance.
     
  6. SBIArn

    SBIArn OT Supporter

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    Teo.
    Its his second time going back into prison. I was there for him and I was the only one that felt and saw a glimpse of change the last time, which is why I let him stay with me. I wanted him to be a better person.
    He not only fucked me over this last time but him and his buddy broke into my landlord's (who lived across the street from me) home a couple weeks before he robbed his girlfriend's job.

    As for noting things. = ) Thank you for the advice. I've been gathering every letter my brother has written my nephew's mom ( they were nothing but bantering and shit) and other random stuff. As for my sister, I think the only reason she wants my nephew is because she hates his mom and wants to cause her any grief that she can. I am going to stand on my nephew's moms side through all of this because she is doing good and I want my nephew to have a good life.

    On another note. I got a call from the courts the other day and they were asking me about the living conditions of my nephew? I didn't know they could call me and ask that?
     
  7. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    when a kid is involved, they can call anyone and ask anything.

    my answer would have been "his living conditions are fine. my in-jail brother and druggie sister have some plan to try to get custody away from my nephew's mother, and part of it is making false accusations about her."

    it'll get written in a file and forgotten, until later if (hopefully not when) this shit gets serious.
     
  8. VA197

    VA197 New Member

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    Have a 'guardian ad lightem' (sp) appointed by the court for your nephew. This is a lawyer that acts with social services, counselors and family to evaluate and act as the sole legal representative for the child, not for any of the members of the family. They will make decisions and fight for the best situations possible for the child. This also takes the decision making problems out of your hands.

    The guardian also keeps tabs with Social Services to do regular home checks, visitation checks, etc, to make sure there is no abuse or neglect.

    Be proactive. That is the best thing you can do.
     
  9. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    They will NEVER give your brother full custody as long as the mom is doing well. Your sister is insane.
     
  10. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Ya know, I've been trying to put myself in your shoes and trying to figure out how I would treat this situation. In all honesty, I would probably cut the felon out of my life completely. There are people that are bad for us and we have to avoid them at all costs. Addicts need to avoid the dealers, alcoholics should probably avoid the liquor store and normal people should avoid felons.

    Felonies are not misunderstandings and people don't usually get them for just making a mistake. They get them by committing very serious crimes against society. If they are a repeated felon, they get multiple ones and keep going back to prison. I can't think of anyone that should be avoided more.....except perhaps murders.

    Sometimes hard decisions need to be made in the interest of self preservation.
     

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