MIL 12 Step Program For The Military

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by TRN, Nov 7, 2005.

  1. TRN

    TRN Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2003
    Messages:
    55,041
    Likes Received:
    126
    Location:
    North East
    1. I am in the military , I have a problem. This is the first step to recovery...

    2. Speech:
    -Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred, it is not 0530 or 1400 it is 5:30 in the morning (AKA God-awful early).
    -Words like deck, rack, and "PT" will get you weird looks; floor, bed, work out, get used to it.
    -"F *ck" cannot be used to -replace whatever word you can't think of right now, try "um".
    -Grunting is not talking.
    -It's a phone, not a radio, conversations on a phone do not end in "out"
    -People will not know what you are talking about if you tell them you are coming from Camp Lejeune with the MWSS platoon or that you spent a deployment in the OCAC

    3. Style:
    -Do not put creases in your jeans.
    -Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts.
    -A horseshoe cut looks dumb, not motivating.
    -A high and tight looks really dumb as well.
    -So does a low reg, but not as bad.
    -A hat indoors does not make you a bad person, it makes you like the rest of the world.
    -you do not have to wear a belt ALL the time.

    4. Women:
    -Air Force girls are easy, very easy, not all women are this easy and will probably punch you in the nuts if you treat them like Air Force girls.
    -Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal, neither are 6 month marriages, even if it is your first.
    -Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make "financial sense", it makes you a retard.

    5. Personal accomplishments:
    -In the real world, being able to do pushups will not make you good at your job.
    -Most people will be slightly disturbed by you if you tell them about people you have killed or seen die.
    -How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment.
    -The time you got really drunk and passed the sobriety test anyway is also not a personal accomplishment.

    6. Drinking:
    -In the real world, being drunk before 5pm will get you an intervention, not a "good for you"
    -That time you drank a 5th of Jaeger and pissed in your closet is not a conversation starter.
    -That time you went to the combat life saver school and practiced giving vodka iv's will also not be a good conversation starter

    6. Bodily functions:
    -Farting on your co-workers and then giggling while you run away may be viewed as "unprofessional".
    -The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny no matter how big it was, how much it burned, or how much it smelled.
    -You can't make fun of someone for being sick, no matter how funny it is

    -VD will also not be funny

    7. The human body:
    -Most people will not want to hear about your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true.

    8. Spending habits:
    -One day, you will have to pay bills
    -Buying a $30,000 car on a $16,000 a year salary is a really bad idea.
    -Spending money on video games instead of on diapers makes you a fool.
    -One day you will need health insurance

    9. Interacting with civilians (AKA YOU):
    -Making fun of your neighbor to his face for being fat will not be normal.

    10. Real jobs:
    -They really can fire you.
    -On the flip side you really can quit.
    -Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal, remember they really can quit too.
    -Taking naps at work will not be acceptable.
    -Remember 9-5 not 0530 to 1800

    11. The Law:
    -Non-judicial punishment does not exist and will not save you from prison.
    -Your workplace unlike your command can't save you and probably won't, in fact most likely you will fired about 5 minutes after they find out you've been arrested
    -Even McDonalds does background checks, and "conviction" isn't going to help you get the job
    -Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you really arrested, not yelled at Monday morning before they ask you if you won.

    12. General knowledge:
    -You can in fact really say what you think about the President in public.
    -Pain is not weakness leaving the body, it's just pain.
    -They won't wear anything shiny that tells you they are more important then you are, be polite.
    -Read the contracts before you sign them, remember what happened the first time.
     
  2. DSHR

    DSHR Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2000
    Messages:
    73,585
    Likes Received:
    25
    Location:
    ATL|LA
    Outstanding.
     
  3. Ranger-AO

    Ranger-AO I'm here for the Taliban party. Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2004
    Messages:
    34,660
    Likes Received:
    150
    Location:
    the places in between
    It's been 20 years and I still do some of this stuff. :hs:
     
  4. RoblesGT

    RoblesGT [Track Days: 19 ][Crashes: 1] [SuMo Days: 1 ][Cras OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2001
    Messages:
    66,003
    Likes Received:
    54
    Location:
    Arizona
    I chuckled.
     
  5. gookarachie

    gookarachie New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2005
    Messages:
    625
    Likes Received:
    0
    Out fucking standing

    whay are there 2 6's?
     
  6. Ranger-AO

    Ranger-AO I'm here for the Taliban party. Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2004
    Messages:
    34,660
    Likes Received:
    150
    Location:
    the places in between
    It was a test. Everybody failed, except for you. You aren't really military, are you? :hahano:
     
  7. adelacruz

    adelacruz New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2005
    Messages:
    6,991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Saint Petersburg, Florida.
    lol thats hilarious and i didnt notice the 2 6's.
     
  8. FarBeyondDriven

    FarBeyondDriven OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2003
    Messages:
    45,428
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Kailua, HI
  9. Swoop411

    Swoop411 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    633
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego
    I have been out two years now and I still catch myself doing alot of those things! At work I fill out the invoices with military time and dates which pisses off my boss. I still get a reg haircut, but not as often. I never gave it much thought till now.....
     
  10. Zee

    Zee New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2002
    Messages:
    16,347
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Becker, MN
    .
     

Share This Page