10 worst mistakes nice guys make with women (copied and pasted)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by jeffswain, Jan 16, 2009.

  1. jeffswain

    jeffswain OT Supporter

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    (by poster Ice Hot Casonova copied and pasted from sosuave)

    The 10 WORST mistakes “nice-guys” make with Women

    1. Complimenting a woman too much and too desperately. A little compliment here and there doesn’t hurt, but always telling a girl she is beautiful will hurt your game. Or kill it outright. This shows that you only value her for her looks, and that you are obsessed with her – both of which are traits of needy guys desperate for sex. And women feel no attraction for frustrated losers.

    2. Buying her dinner, drinks, and gifts. A real seducer will never waste money on a girl that hasn’t legitimately EARNED his favor. Showering girls with favors will only cause them to see you as chump with no personality, who has to buy women’s company. It is little better than prostitution, and they will see right through it. Expensive dinner dates and bouquets often result in “lets just be friends”… and if she’s really considerate, one of those rare women who are truly caring and have a good heart, she MAY tell you reluctantly that you’re trying too hard.

    3. Giving away your power to her (begging). Always asking her “please!” as if you are a puppet and she is holding the strings. Begging her to stay longer, or pleading with her to like you after she shows disinterest. Begging only makes you look pathetic and spineless, and it gives her the power to say NO. It does make her feel more powerful and validated, but honestly, do you really want her to step all over your dignity? Then don’t beg. It’s NOT charming or “chivalrous” by any means, and you will LOSE respect.

    4. Always asking her if she’s okay, or if she’s having a good time. This is a BIG mistake guys make, even guys who think they know the “game”! Believe me, if she’s having fun you’ll notice it in her face and her voice. Nice guys often don’t trust women and sometimes assume that women are inexplicable and even intentionally deceptive. While this may be true of some women, no women will EVER hide her true emotions in front of a guy she’s comfortable with. Asking her makes her LESS comfortable.

    5. Always making her decide what to do (“what do you want to do now?”). 90% of the time, she won’t have an answer because women want guys to take the lead, not the other way around. If you sound like you have no clue what to do, you have already lost her. She doesn’t WANT to do anything with a guy who has no idea what to do!

    6. Always apologizing for everything you do. Rule of thumb – if you wouldn’t expect a girl to apologize to you for touching you on the arm, don’t apologize to her either! She isn’t Bloody Mary – you don’t have to supplicate or beg for fear of getting your head chopped off! Being submissive and sorry only sends one signal to this soft, delicate creature – you only want her for her *****.

    7. Being afraid to share your opinions. This behavior immediately makes you look insecure and you will become a target for her disdain. Most girls will never openly say it, but a guy that’s afraid of his own opinions actually disapproves of HIMSELF on some subconscious level. That’s the behavior of a low-value chump who has no self-respect.

    8. Gushing with excessive, NEEDY emotions (i.e. “You are so beautiful, I’m already in love with you!”). This demonstrates low value because you appear to have no standards or patience. If you are meeting a girl for the first time, you will look like the most desperate guy on earth doing this. Even telling a girl you like her will often KILL attraction. I don’t care how many times your mom said it’s the “polite” way to treat girls, it is WRONG! A woman wants things to “just happen”, and the emotional burden of your pounding heart depending on her for instant happiness will just scare the crap out of her!

    9. Trying to impress her with your knowledge, money, car, or any other LOGICAL excuses (bragging). This makes you look boring and lacking in substance. It is overcompensation. Once again, many guys have been misled by their parents. You do NOT want to “impress” girls – you want to get them curious about you. Furthermore, women are not attracted by logic. They are attracted by emotion and personality. The more you try to justify why she “should” be attracted to you, the less attraction she will feel. Any sort of rules, logic, and justification of them only will turn girls off!

    10. Always trying to become a part of her life (following her, calling her every hour, sending her cards or flowers, asking too eagerly about her friends). This behavior, if it is allowed to continue, can become downright creepy. It communicates that you have no life, and that you are desperate not only for the girl, but also for getting to know ANYONE at all! Why are you so eager to meet her friends so fast anyway?

    These mistakes are all hurting millions of men, and the crazy part is that they can EASILY be avoided once you know what they are and why they are HUGE turn-offs to women. And indeed, make no mistake about it – they definitely ARE. So if you are currently doing any of these “nice-guy” things, don’t feel insulted – just STOP DOING THEM, and your rejection rate will be cut in half. Only half of seduction relies on knowing the right techniques and internalizing the beliefs and attitudes behind them. The other half simply consists of not screwing it up!

    Now I’m sure we’ve all heard the conventional wisdom on women and “dating” from friends, parents, John Gray, Oprah, Dr. Phil, Hollywood movies, the media, etc. You know… all the “accepted” pop-culture advice that tells you to buy women flowers and ask them to plan the date, impress her with your money, car, house, etc. and not make any moves, not talk about your opinions for fear of “offending” her, be super-“respectful” like a nervous schoolboy who has never touched a girl before… basically, advice telling to make ALL of the above mistakes! And I’m sure ALL of those people had their reasons for giving you that advice, but… I’ve got some bad news for those folks: this is the same wussy puritanical feminist advice that existed in the 1960s, and even THEN, it didn’t attract women.

    The “conventional wisdom” is WRONG!

    Girls are NOT attracted to guys that buy gifts, talk about their car or house, apologize for touching a girl, or give her the power to plan the evening. In fact, women are continually REPULSED by all of these behaviors. The biggest reason nice guys fail with women is that women simply do not trust nice guys. Nice guys look FAKE, because they are. What with all their showing gifts on a woman, all their begging and submitting and complimenting, they communicate EXTREME desperation and neediness – yet in spite of how badly they desire the girl, they are afraid to make a move, which communicates fear and lack of confidence. So from both ends, they come across as LOSERS. Think about it. Would you act all desperate like that around your friends? Why would a guy act like that, unless he is trying to get something from the girl? Either he must be trying to sell her something (and failing), or he is desperate for sex/marriage/a relationship, or any combination of the three. She is always thinking “WHAT does he WANT from me?” And that is NOT the state of mind you want her to be in, if your goal is to actually get laid.

    There are only THREE things that nice-guy behavior will tell girls about you, and NONE of them are good:

    1. You are desperate and needy
    2. You have no confidence or direction in life
    3. You are NOT a prize to be won over, thus you have NO sexual value to her

    Does this sound like she’s impressed? Obviously something is VERY wrong with the way most guys go about attracting women. They actually SCARE women away! Being a “nice guy” doesn’t show women that you “care” about them. It actually creeps them out!

    When I first figured this out, it was as eye-opening as seeing my reflection in the condensed droplets of water glistening like diamonds on the perfectly polished, shimmering surfaces of solid gold faucets in a gold-plated shower fit for a King! It was truly astounding. This was the answer to YEARS of asking why women were creeped out by all the conventional “approaches” that guys use. Being “nice” in chick-speak actually means “trying too hard”. And it took a girl telling me this to finally make me understand. Nice guys try to hide the fact that they want to sleep with a girl – yet by their submissive actions they make if OBVIOUS that they want something from her. They are “trying too hard” to get SEX, and the girl sees through it INSTANTLY. Women WILL have sex with you, but NOT if you come across as wanting it more badly than they do. If you’re a real Prize to be won, you need to act like sex is NO BIG DEAL! That’s right, I am NOT making this up. A real MAN is not needy. A real seducer is not desperate for sex, because he believes that he, not the girl, is the Prize. After all, if you are truly a Prize, like Casanova, then you can get sex whenever you want and that it’s not even necessary to have it anytime soon. You are not needy. There is no scarcity of women in your life. And you feel no fear in communicating with women. THAT is the attitude which makes you a Prize, regardless of whether you are already getting lots of sex or not. You must internalize this attitude first to truly have strong game.
     
  2. Bacardi 151

    Bacardi 151 New Member

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    I just acted how I always act and it seemed to work. :dunno:
     
  3. giz

    giz Active Member

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    skimmed through it, and while I agree with some of them, I think it's horrible advice.

    of course I'm looking to develop a meaningful relationship... this type of stupid shit works for picking up women for a 2-3 meeting ordeal
     
  4. jeffswain

    jeffswain OT Supporter

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    you're probably right this may not be totally applicable for a good LTR
     
  5. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Let's make huge sweeping generalisations about every person simply because they are male/female and then we will appear to know all.

    I'm your archtypical nice guy in that I actually give a shit about how people feel. It's a genuine thing, some people understand that and think it's one of my best features. Others can't stand it, and they are generally the people I'm not interested in anyway. Is something is obviously wrong with someone I care about, why the fuck wouldn't I try and find out what it is? If someone looks good and is feeling a bit low, then I am going to compliment them, by they a girl or a mate who is going through a rough time.

    It is how I am and I'm not going to change it because some bullshit "expert" on the internet, who will probably be found with a tranny in a truck stop toilet, proclaimed himself a genuis of everything.
     
  6. KM

    KM New Member

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    Common sense?
     
  7. NuShooz

    NuShooz OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    only works for initial dates to keep girls interested in you...developing meaningful relationships have no set formula...it depends on the couple
     
  8. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Dawt. Been through that phase, though I might try something different.

    Even being a nice guy I've never had issues though. All that stuff posted doesn't seem to be nice guy stuff though. More "don't be a douche" and common sense than anything.
     
  9. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    honestly I can't count how many people I've met who have written articles like this, get paid to teach guys this shit, have DVDs and e-books and audio, etc. etc. ad nauseum -- including PUAs and shit

    and the #1 thing I've noticed is that the people who put out products (articles, books, audio) are exactly as giz said...

    they're good at getting like 3 or 4 solid dates in -- like real fun and it's all there

    but it falls apart after that. I'm SURE that plenty of guys here have been through it. I sure as hell did (I was also one of the pricks who used to write and sort of teach guys this shit). I just never noticed it because I wasn't looking for more than a handful of dates anyway.

    it's not to say the advice isn't decent or sound... it's just the guys that are good at LTRs and even healthy relationships in general never get to the point in their life where they feel the need to write articles and shit like this!

    always question the background of the author... it takes a certain person to write like this
     
  10. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    you know what the biggest mistake is?

    feeling the need to be invincible AND/OR the fear of being judged with people in general

    meaningful relationships usually have one distinct turning point (though a lot of times it's a culmination of events), and in so many cases it's one person putting him/herself on the line and being vulnerable

    that's where people get stuck after the 4th date... you round all the bases (figuratively, maybe literally) and don't know where to run to then
     
  11. NuShooz

    NuShooz OT Supporter

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    all these articles keep stressing to keep on top of your game. That's all fine and dandy until the girl has been won over...omg what do i do next? :noes:.
     
  12. giz

    giz Active Member

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    I lived that lifestyle as well. 2-3 dates and you are all used up. the trick is the transition (if you choose to make it) into a long term relationship.

    most people who first learn this type of "persona" morph into a completely different person when they try to turn the situation into a real relationship. it's because they weren't being themselves in the first place. it will never work!

    use some of this stuff to build attraction initially, I'm all for it! don't be needy, don't supplicate, make them prove themselves to you, but don't change who you are.
     
  13. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    I view the whole PUA thing as essentially sociopathic. You get so fixated on an end goal (I will screw xyz by the second date) that you ignore everything else, including the other person involved. I just don’t see the point. I’ve always been more into ltr’s than just random, meaningless pickups. According to the PUA school of thought this is a pathetic approach and I should be increasing my “game” but if what I am doing works, and it results in me not following the same clichéd and forced bullshit that every game player adheres to blindly then so be it. I’m doing my own thing. It’s worked in the past, makes me happier, doesn’t treat women as objects and I see no reason why it’s not going to work in the future.

    But that’s just my rant on the subject. Just annoys me that this bullshit gets forced down people’s throats.
     
  14. giz

    giz Active Member

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    right? :rofl:

    some of the same principles still apply, but others you do the exact opposite.
     
  15. giz

    giz Active Member

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    Thats usually how it starts out, and then people realize it doesn't make them any happier (maybe even worse off).

    Learning all of the material and putting it into practice changed my life, but it also put me in a bad place for awhile.

    The day after I met my last gf, I made a thread about how I had never thought what I was feeling was possible, I had become this emotionless cyborg seduction machine. Luckily I saw the light and I can only hope I'll never fall into that thinking again.
     
  16. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    :h5: Know where you are coming from on that one.

    It works for a shortime, but then it all blows up in your face. I tried it for a short time. And then stopped it when I realised it was a sham.

    If there's any 16 year old kids out there reading this, don't go down this path. Most of us have been down it. It's only for sociopaths and egotistical fucktards. There's much more rewarding and healthier ways to get an end result.
     
  17. giz

    giz Active Member

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    It's easy to get carried away with, especially when you aren't used to close relationships as it is (like most that turn to PUA)
     
  18. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    PUA stuff is full of a lot of fluff to sell books and whatever but it certainly never claims that if what you are doing works you should stop and do what it says. There are actually a lot of good concepts that are involved with "PUA" that your average guy (most suck with women) can't seem to get through their skull. Your opinion seems more to do with the fact that you like the sound of your own voice in the Vag and PUA concepts contradict your personal beliefs vs. anything helpful.

    It might not be for you, but it has never claimed that it is for everyone. There are plenty of people who have used it for the good and not gone on to treat women like meat.
     
  19. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    I've used it. It is forcing a false persona on yourself for the purpose of getting laid in the short term with no thought for the long term.

    If you use it, go for it, I learnt bits and pieces, but to slavishly follow a set forumula because it's the only way to get women as some people think, is pretty sad.

    Oh, and because I post something that you don't agree with I must just like the sound of my own voice is fucking laughable. If I gave two shits over what people thought about me on the internet then I wouldn't have posted a lot of the shit I have. Simple as that.

    I've gone through a fuckload of changes over the last 6 years, from a nervous wreck scared of his own shadow with no motivation and a dead end path and no skills around women to a completly different person. I've done this without big noting myself through talking about my "method". But if I can help people out I will.

    Enjoy the game. It's not for me. It's not for the long term, but if you enjoy it, go for it.
     
  20. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    If doing what you do doesn't work = sad

    If following ANYTHING ANYONE says BLINDLY = Sad

    Taking someones advice and incorporating the parts that work for yourself into you life = an intelligent person that isn't a sheep.

    Saying getting help from an outside source makes you a bad person when what you currently do does nothing = extremely closed minded and ignorant

    Saying something doesn't work because it didn't work for you = sad

    Talking down about people who don't want the same in a relationship as you as if they are bad people = you are a closed minded prick

    See where I'm going with this?
     
  21. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    That sure is super duper. I was saying that just because you post a lot in the Vag doesn't make you right :dunno:
     
  22. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    You like the Game. I don't. Let's all prance through the fields holding hands.

    I took elements. However, I was really hesitant and wary and actually turned off by a lot of the shit I read. So I didn't incorporate that. I mentioned it now because it is to do with the topic. I didn't make a thread about it.

    A few of us have looked at this and used it, we didn't like it for varying reasons, and to varying levels. So what? Because you disagree we aren't allowed to outline the reason why we didn't like it?
     
  23. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    I'm sorry, I will PM you before I make any post to ensure that it doesn't disagree with your own stance and views.

    I bow to your knowledge. The game cannot be questioned. Ever.
     
  24. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Not liking it is one thing, making those who did out to be bad guys makes you a closed minded prick. Read your posts in this thread. They are derogatory against those who "PUA" have helped.


    FYI I'm not really one of those, what I do also seems to work just fine. I'm just not closed minded enough to cast something aside and say those who it works for have no respect for women. Or start a post about how it is nothing but sweeping generalizations and back it up with my own sweeping generalizations.

    I'm not saying you don't give people good advice, but you have to be able to back it up with something sometimes when your "advice" is based on bullshit.
     
  25. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Dude... That'd be AWESOME. And you wouldn't be the first
     

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