SRS 10 month relationship, a new girl just walked in.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by dazed, Jul 30, 2006.

  1. dazed

    dazed New Member

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    Hey guys,

    Here's the story.

    I've been with my girlfriend for the past 10 months and it's been great. Yeah, we fight every now and then, but it's been quite possibly the best 10 months of my life so far. She's been my first everything, girlfriend, sex partner, etc.

    A little background: we started dating when we were a long distance apart. We were kind of together over summer 2005, then officially became bf/gf in the fall after we were both at school for a few months.

    Fast forward 10 months to now, I am starting to have feelings for another girl and she told me the feelings are mutual. It's not something I'm proud of, but after work a bunch of us went out drinking and one thing led to another and we kissed.

    I can't get the new girl out of my head, and I don't exactly feel badly about kissing her. And to make matters worse, I am strongly considering asking her to dinner next weekend.

    Now my question is: does this just prove that I really don't love my current girlfriend like I thought I did?
     
  2. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    It doesn't prove you don't love her.

    Not feeling guilty for cheating on her is certainly something to be worried about. Assuming kissing is cheating in your relationship of course, you may have different rules.

    I'd say, don't be a shithead, make your choice and stick with it. Either stay with your GF (while admitting to the kiss) and stop anything with the other girl, or break up with your GF and see where things go with the other girl.

    Most people are shitheads though, so do what you will :)
     
  3. dazed

    dazed New Member

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    I dont' expect anything to happen with the new girl, we go to school a very very long way apart.

    The only thing I'm worried about it not feeling bad at all about kissing someone else and not being able to stop thinking about that someone else.
     
  4. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    I wouldn't worry so much about the thinking about her, when new things come into your life they are often all you think about for a while. That generally passes fairly fast.

    The not feeling guilty bit I'd definately be worried about, I know I certainly would be feeling guilty if I was at all close to my gf.
     
  5. Avalon

    Avalon There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the

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    Would you be bothered if your g/f was doing this with another guy? What would you want her to do in your situation?
    If nothing is going to happen with the new girl then there is no point in asking her to dinner...
     
  6. dazed

    dazed New Member

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    i would hate it if she was doing this with another guy, and i understand that it's not fair to her that i'm doing this.

    at this point, it's not about the new girl, but rather about whether i still have the same strong feeling for my girlfriend that i once had.
     
  7. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    your case is a classic case of ITS OVER BEFORE ITS OVER. emotionally, youve left your current gf for your new gf. the guilt part is leaving you with the current girl.
    Its pointless to tell your girl the truth now, if you want to protect her, just break up with her w/o telling her you cheated, if you want to save her emotional crisis...blame your breakup on school stress or somehting. Then date this new girl...
    datin gtwo girls at once is immature, sstressful, and creates trust issues.
     
  8. Avalon

    Avalon There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the

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    Its normal to go through times where you arent completely devoted to your g/f. You wont always be head over heels for her, it doesnt mean that you need to leave her. Give it time and see what happens.
     
  9. redna

    redna New Member

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    To me, it sounds like you've got all you needed out of your current relationship and you're ready to move on.

    Sometimes it just happens like that.
     
  10. redna

    redna New Member

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    I wholeheartedly DISagree with this.

    DO NOT tell her! Whatever your decision, keep that shit secret.

    1. It's your burden to carry, you fucked up.
    2. Telling her will do nothing but satisfy your guilt (that you apparently don't have) and make her hurt. Essentially she's the one paying for your mistake.

    If it's in the past, and it's never going to happen again, and you decide to stay with her, you need to make sure that it never happens again, and that it stays in the past, and that you are 100% committed to her. It was a kiss, there are no ramifications other than your unfaithfulness. Telling her would be selfish not noble.
     
  11. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    I again state the other way, if I was on the receiving end I'd rather know about it than have it possibly come up later from third party.
     
  12. dazed

    dazed New Member

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    there's no way it can come up through a third party, only my best friends (2) know about it.
     
  13. Kirlain

    Kirlain First world problems

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    If you love your girlfriend stop talking to that other girl. /thread
     
  14. Sarge21

    Sarge21 Frau am Steuer Ungeheuer!

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    After being on the recieving end of similar situations many times over, I will have to disagree.

    I would rather her just break up with me and not tell me that she fucked around.
     
  15. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    I agree with sarge. If you really want to break up a 6 year relaitonship, for a
    fling, sexual fantasy" go ahead...but do respect your current gf and dont break her heart even more by telling her you cheated.
     
  16. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    what age r u?
     
  17. dazed

    dazed New Member

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    i'm 20
     
  18. dazed

    dazed New Member

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    i have a date with the new girl tonight =X
     
  19. Trigger Happy

    Trigger Happy OT Supporter

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    :hug: good luck with it mate
     
  20. dazed

    dazed New Member

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    we're on a break.

    the date went amazing. we went to dinner, and then couldn't figure out what to do so we snuck into a local park and ended up lying in the middle of the street and looking at the stars for hours on end.

    kiss at the door :hsd:
     
  21. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    i suggest you skip the "break " idea. Is your "break" girl dating other guys? som epart of her may think that you might come back to her, when really your actions show you have no intention of returning to her.
    Be mature and give the woman some respect, dump her and continue your live with the new girl.
    Kissing another girl even when your on a "break" shows what lowsy of a lover you are.
    mature adults dont have "breaks". theyre either together or their not. d
     
  22. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    Does this "new girl" know that youre on a "break" ?? chances are shed leave you when she figured that out, because NO FEMALE wants to be sloppy seconds to a guy whos emotionally confused. She wants to be put first...so Id also think twice about how this "new girl" will feel WHEN she finds out youre double-dating......
     
  23. Stilgar

    Stilgar New Member

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    big 1 is absolutely right. You are being irresponsible.

    What you are doing is keeping your girlfriend on a line, so that if the date or w/e with this new chick doesn't work out, you have something to fall back to.

    No girl should be treated as a safety net. Consider her feelings instead of being so selfish.
     
  24. dazed

    dazed New Member

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    yeah, she knows we're ona break
     

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